When Should You Stop Dating Multiple People? Experts Weigh In

Dating over the last year has been hard, period. As bars and restaurants closed, singles flocked to parks to see if their dating app crush could be the one. In 2021 there are no dating rules and it’s usually the best policy to follow your gut but when should you stop dating multiple people? Dating two people at once can get really messy, especially when feelings are involved. I asked the experts for some advice.

Dating over the last year has been hard, period. As bars and restaurants closed, singles flocked to parks to see if their dating app crush could be the one. Aside from the added complications caused by coronavirus, there are other dating dilemmas to deal with. One that can be tricky to manage is when should you stop dating multiple people? I asked the experts for some advice.

It’s pretty normal to speak to a few people at one time if you’re single. Hell, you may even be organised enough to go on multiple first dates in one go. Whatever kind of relationship youre looking for, apps have opened up endless possibilities and in the past year they have been one of the few ways to meet new people and make new connections. But if you’ve found someone during lockdown once you’ve found someone you like, when should you cut the others out?

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Dating Multiple People: The Pros

Research reported by the BBC highlighted that singles had more to consider over the last year when it comes to meeting up with people and it’s changed people’s attitudes towards casual dating. Dating and relationships coach Annie Lavin also told the Irish Times that she’s witnessed many people skipping past those early stages of flirtation on dating multiple people and moving into relationship status very quickly. But online dating expert Benjamin Daly believes, so long as you’re being safe, it’s good to date around.

“It’s similar to finding a job – you’re putting yourself out there, seeing what’s available, until you eventually find someone or something worth committing to,” Daly tells me. For him, its all about efficiency: “The dating cycle from matching to chatting to the first date and even second date can take up to a month. If you realise by the second date that you’re not compatible, you’ve invested a lot of time and will have to start again. That isn’t an efficient use of time.”

Behavourial psychologist Jo Hemmings agrees that dating around is a good idea, but for a slightly different reason. “It’s using it as an opportunity to not only find someone who feels right for us, but also as a way of learning something about ourselves and our own wants and needs,” she explains.

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