What does it mean when a guy stares at you? 15 reasons

He’s Staring at You

If you notice he is making more eye contact with you or you catch a guy staring at you, he is probably attracted to you. He may be enthralled by your good looks and may be fantasizing about kissing you. Perhaps he stares at you and smiles; that could mean he likes you, too.

Reasons Why A Guy Would Stare At You From Afar

What does it mean when a guy stares at you? 15 key meanings

First and foremost, one of the top reasons why a guy might stare at you is that he finds you attractive.

After all, taking a quick peek or looking you over briefly is one thing: staring is another thing entirely.

Staring is what somebody does when they are more interested than average.

This is not always a positive thing, but in the first case it generally means he finds you noteworthy or attractive in some way.

I’ll go over the potentially more negative meanings further down.

If you’re wondering what it means when a guy stares at you, one of the common answers is that he’s brainstorming all the ways he’d like to be there for you.

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Men aren’t such complicated creatures, and sometimes they get just plain jealous.

If he’s staring at you a lot it could be primarily motivated by jealousy.

This also connects to the first point, since he wouldn’t be jealous if he didn’t find you attractive. But obviously it’s a little more on the toxic side.

Slight jealousy can just be a side-effect of attraction and shyness to talk to you.

But major jealousy and obsessiveness can be the signs of a codependent fixation.

He either wants to fix you or have you “fix” him in some idealized version of egotistical love he’s built up in his head.

This spikes the feelings of jealousy when he sees another guy appearing to “get” you instead.

If a guy is staring at you for this reason, he’s usually more of the variety that you want to do your best to avoid.

Sometimes a guy stares at you because he’s genuinely wondering if he knows you from somewhere.

I realize that this is often used as a pickup line in the form of “have we met somewhere?”

But it is also a real thing in some cases…

He furrows his brow and strokes his chin. He sidles over and maybe pulls back a bit as if confused.

Sometimes it’s because he thinks you’re a friend of a friend or someone he already spoke to before but he’s not quite sure.

Sometimes a guy stares at you because he finds you intellectually attractive.

The three main elements of love are the mind, the heart and the body (intellectual, emotional and physical).

Love usually begins with one of these in first place, especially for sapiosexuals, so it could be the start of love beginning as an intellectual connection!

But sometimes it’s also just that he loves your mind and it stays as that going forward…

Regardless, if he’s staring at you as you speak and making strong eye contact that brightens when you present interesting perspectives, he’s clearly at least engaged with what you’re saying.

Another reason why a guy might be staring at you is that he thinks you’re ugly or weird.

If you believe you’re ugly and you think a guy is eyeing you up for this reason, it can be a very hurtful experience.

When our self-worth is lowered by feeling we’re physically lacking or flawed, we often go down a very dark path to disempowerment and devalidation.

This guy thinking you’re strange or ugly is his problem, not yours.

Sometimes a guy eyes you up like he’s looking at Mount Everest and contemplating climbing it.

This is the look of a man who believes that you’re out of his league.

Maybe you’re exceptionally beautiful, prestigious, famous, rich or renowned in your field.

Maybe he personally just feels something about you sets you apart and makes you difficult to attain.

When a guy feels you’re out of his league he’ll tend to stare a lot, as if gauging whether he really feels up to making contact with you.

Not everyone believes there’s such a thing as “the one.”

But for those of us who are real romantics, the idea tends to stick around in the back of our hearts for a long time.

If this guy is one of those who believes in finding “the one,” he may be staring at you because he thinks he’s finally hit the jackpot.

How could he think this after only seeing you for a small time?

That’s definitely a reasonable question. But some guys definitely do get pretty romantic pretty fast.

And if he’s an idealist, he might be eyeing you up with the beginning of the idea that you could be his one and only.

Another one of the reasons a guy sometimes stares is that he’s intimidated by you in a negative way.

Your clothes, positions, manner or speaking or overall “look” has somehow frightened him or made him freaked out.

Now he’s looking at you the way a scared animal might look at a predator in the wild.

This means that he sees you as an alpha female and he’s wondering if he should be worried about his own position professionally or personally.

Sometimes a man stares at you to try to see your true self.

He’s looking for a read on your character and what makes you tick.

This could include:

  • Looking at your cultural and social values in action
  • Watching the way you talk and move and what it says about your class and style
  • Checking out the way you do your hair, makeup, jewelry and what kind of clothes you wear to see if you’re his type.
  • In many cases, a guy stares at you to see if you’ll return his interest.

    If you meet his gaze, it’s the visual equivalent of a thumbs up and may give him hope that you’ll end up being into him as well.

    If you awkwardly look down or sidestep his look then he’ll generally take it as a sign that you’re not into him.

    Learning to make eye contact and just breathe even in the middle of tense or intimate situations isn’t always easy.

    One of the top reasons a guy might be staring at you is if you have a romantic history…

    Finding out what’s going on inside his head is a little tougher, but the good news is that getting your ex back is certainly possible.

    Maybe you broke up because he needed to move to another state for work. Maybe you weren’t to get into a serious relationship.

    Regardless of the reason, exes who break up because of circumstance have the strongest chance at rekindling the passion, precisely because there are always ways to improve your timing if the breakup happened because of circumstance instead of personal differences.

    Other reasons may not be as straightforward, but they may still be very much valid. These include:

    You understand what went wrong. Sometimes relationships go south, to the point that there’s nothing you can do about it.

    But if you start seeing your mistakes in hindsight, and find the willingness to improve who you are to compliment your partner, both of you might have a fighting chance at salvaging the relationship.

    For instance, most communication issues can be avoided by setting some ground rules and being considerate of each other’s feelings. If your problems stemmed from things that could be fixed, know that you can still fight to get the relationship back.

    Feeling like you’re missing a part of yourself after a breakup is completely normal.

    However, if you still feel this way even after you’ve given yourself time to heal, maybe it’s more of a sign that you still have feelings for the other person.

    Knowing you were wrong is one thing; wanting to fix it is another.

    If you or your ex get to a point where you’re both willing to sit down, compromise, and make things work, it’s definitely a good sign that the relationship has a fighting chance.

    You agree on things now. Different goals and outlooks in life can put a wedge in people, especially if you’re already looking to settle down, build a life with someone, and start a family.

    With time and experience, both of you will have the space to grow and learn from different people. Time might be all that you needed just to get on the same page.

    Alright now that we’ve figured out you can get back with your ex, here are the key steps to take.

    13) He stares but then looks down, meaning he’s insecure

    When a guy stares at you and you stare back, check what he does.

    If he meets your gaze and smiles, then he knows what he’s doing and is confident about his interest in you.

    If he rapidly looks down as if ashamed to be caught with his hand in the cookie jar, then he is insecure and feels not good enough for you.

    There’s really not a lot you can do if he thinks he’s beneath you except approach, smile and maybe strike up a conversation.

    Ultimately it’s up to every person to own themselves and their worth by discovering their personal power and creativity.

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