The World’s Most Comprehensive Tinder Guide (2021 Edition) — Zirby

5 Tinder Rules For Guys in 2021 (Essential Tips)

Don’t do this:

  • Always swipe right. Doing this communicates to Tinder that you’re happy to match with anyone, so why would they show you the cream of the crop?>
  • Swipe without spending a little time on the profile. Again, you want to communicate that you’re selective, so look at more than one photo. Read her bio.>
  • Do this instead:

  • Swipe right on women that you’d be excited to match with.>
  • Message every match. Tinder wants to keep women happy, and one way to do that is to make sure that they’re matching with men who will message them. For this same reason, you should message in a timely manner, within a day or two of matching.>
  • Send quality messages, and keep conversations going. We’ll cover how to do this more below, but engaging your matches is one of the biggest ways Tinder determines your Elo score.>
  • Here’s one last way to think about this:

    So the men with the highest Elo scores are the ones whose profile and behaviors accomplish this.

    Researchers asked women to rank their intentions when using Tinder from 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest score.

    These were the average scores of the following 5 responses:

    tinderguide

    More than anything, women are on Tinder to look at profiles, and to chat.

    All of this will result in your profile being shown to more, and higher quality, women.

    When you Super Like a profile that person is notified that they’ve been super liked, and your profile rises to the top of their queue so that they see it quickly.

    You can think about a super like as being a way to make sure that someone sees your profile, regardless of your Elo score, or other factors that might otherwise keep them from seeing you.

    But does super liking someone actually increase the chances that they’ll like you back?

    And in fact, anecdotal evidence suggests that super-liking someone when you don’t have a dynamite profile may actually hurt your chances.

    In short, if you really like a profile, go ahead and super like them. But make sure your profile is as amazing as it can be before you do.

    Youre probably better off just skipping super likes completely. And definitely dont buy them.

    Tinder Boosts work by making your profile the highest-rated profile for the duration of the boost so that anyone using Tinder in your area during that time frame will see you.

    Boosts only last for half an hour though, so you want to make sure that you boost your profile when there’s lots of Tinder activity.

    The nice folks at Nielsen took a long look at our cell phone data and determined that Tinder usage peaks around 9 pm on an average day – meaning you should use your boosts between 8 and 9 pm.

    tinderguide

    Making sure that your profile is seen by the most people possible is great, but again, it doesn’t increase the likelihood of people swiping right on you.

    The only thing that will is making sure that your profile is one of the best out there, so boost only when ready.

    Tinder Gold is Tinder’s premium paid service. For $15 a month you get:

  • Unlimited Likes>
  • Rewind last swipe>
  • 5 super likes per day>
  • 1 Boost each month>
  • Passport to swipe around the world>
  • See who likes you>
  • If you’re following our swiping advice, most of these features aren’t going to help you much.

    You should be swiping selectively, so you won’t need unlimited likes, and you should be taking your time with each swipe, so you won’t need to rewind.

    We’ve discussed Super Likes and Boost, but these tools can be purchased for cheaper than the Gold Membership.

    The Passport feature is fun, but it’s more of a novelty than anything.

    The really intriguing feature here is the ability to see who likes you.

    If you’re all about efficiency, this feature can obviously help you save some time. However, it also takes some of the fun and mystery out of Tinder.

    My advice? Save your money, spend it on making sure you have amazing photos, and if you’re still in a hurry spend a little money on boosts. They are by far the most helpful of the paid features.

    Whatever result you’re currently getting, whether it’s one match a day, or one match a week, our goal here at Zirby is to optimize your Tinder game so you can have the best results possible for you.

    And part of this Tinder guide is to outright tell you what you can expect if you optimize your profile and strategy.

    And whatever results you’re currently getting, I promise that if you follow the advice in this blog, your numbers will improve.

    Having said that, if your matches are ignoring you more than half of the time, you’re probably guilty of sending some of the mistakes we outline in the rest of the blog.

    Matching is really the most difficult part of Tinder, and even when you’re doing everything right, the amount of matches you get is largely out of your control.

    Everything after the match is much more predictable, so keep reading to learn how to convert your matches into conversations, and your conversations into whatever else you’re looking for 😉

    Your opening message sets the tone for all of your interactions.

    And will determine whether or not this match goes anywhere.

    Your opening message should never, ever, be “hey,” or “hello.”

    And yet 25% of men’s opening messages are 6 characters or less.

    tinderguide

    Also avoid:

  • Cliche lines. She knows she’s hot, you don’t need to tell her.>
  • Passive openers.>
  • Long declarations of love.>
  • Copy pasted lines (in certain cases).>
  • More than anything else, your opening line should be personally written for her.

    It should respond specifically to something in her photos or bio.

    Let me show you an example:

    tinderguide

    It’s so radically different than any messages she’s seen before.

    If you really nail spiking her emotions you’ll get a lot more of a response than just “bingo.”

    In fact, you can get a response like the one below:

    tinderguide

    The more of a response she’s going to give you.

    In a way, it doesn’t matter whether it’s copy-pasted or customized.

    If you really manage to spike her emotions she will practically invite YOU out.

    And by the way, if you’re curious about what that opening line is…

    It’s from my friend Jesse who spent the last couple of years testing lines.

    Literally sending thousands of messages and calculating what had the highest response rate.

    This line was the #1 ranking (over 78% response rate.)

    Jesse put together a video that goes over what that line is.

    With all that said, let’s move on to customized opening lines.

    For Example:

    tinderguide

    It’s just one sentence, not a ton to work with, right? Now check out our Tinder coach’s opening message.

    tinderguide

    He responds directly to her bio, shows a familiarity with her interests (memes), and just like that, this conversation is off and rolling.

    Let’s see another example:

    tinderguide

    Breana’s bio gives us even less to work with. She likes dogs “n” poetry. Great. But watch what our coach does.

    tinderguide

    Instead of responding to her pretty weak bio, he notices her photos and asks sends her an opening line that she definitely hasn’t seen before.

    We’ve got tons more examples of successful opening lines you can check out, but the most important thing that they all have in common is that they’re specifically written for each girl.

    If the conversation is going well, it should be pretty obvious to you.

    But let’s check out more of the above matches:

    tinderguide

    Alice’s all capital letter response to the meme game is a pretty clear indication that she’s enjoying the conversation.

    She asks us to move the conversation over to Instagram, which can be a red flag, but our coach makes sure she doesn’t get too much power with his next message.

    tinderguide

    Our coach can tell she’s interested because she’s asking him leading questions about guitar lessons, and he cuts right to the chase.

    And there’s pretty much no better indicator that things are going well than a girl agreeing that you guys should hang out in person.

    Now you might be thinking to yourself, “yeah, but I’m not as funny or interesting as that Tinder coach. I can’t just come up with things like that.”

    And yes, our coach is very good, but the fact is that you don’t need to be him to be interesting on Tinder. You don’t need to always be smooth. You don’t need to always have the perfect line.

    We also have a video that goes over 3 easy tips to be Witty on Tinder… because it doesnt hurt.

    Here are three actionable ways to step up your texting game immediately:

    I know that “be yourself” sounds like an after-school special, but seriously, most men on Tinder are so obsessed with trying to be the coolest guy in the room that relaxing and not taking yourself too seriously is a good way to stand out.

    Another important part of being authentic is showing her who you are – that means avoiding cliche openers like “hey,” “hi,” or “you’re beautiful,” and instead, show off a bit of your personality.

    Check out the example below, where I matched with a girl who was a bodybuilder (i.e. way more in shape than I’ll ever be).

    tinderguide

    I open with a light-hearted, self-deprecating joke, and continue the bit by talking about binge eating doughnuts. Nothing cool there, but she’s immediately got a sense of who I am.

    Too bad she was a vegan, or this one might have gone somewhere.

    This is maybe the single biggest piece of advice anyone can give you here.

    I know that feeling rejected isn’t fun – but taking Tinder too seriously is a guaranteed one-way ticket to never improving.

    It’s magical that we live in a time that Tinder exists. It’s nearly miraculous that you don’t have to marry one of the 3 girls that were roughly the same age as you in the village you were born in.

    tinderguide

    Need I say more? Have some fun. Don’t get too invested in it. Your results will improve.

    This builds off of the last two pieces of advice – making statements (rather than asking questions) shows more of your personality, and shows that you aren’t too worried about the outcome of the conversation (meaning that you’re having fun).

    It’s a quick way to double-check your messages before you send them – just ask yourself, is this a statement? You’ll be surprised at how well it works.

    tinderguide

    tinderguide

    As a guy, you’re going to be competing with hundreds of thousands of other men on Tinder.

    And like you’ve seen already, the odds are stacked against you.

    That’s why to succeed on Tinder you’re going to need to stand out.

    Here are 7 ways that you can accomplish this from start to finish.

    You already know that you need a headshot for your Tinder profile.

    But the key here is it needs to be “quality.”

    One was taken at night, and the other during the day.

    tinderguide

    tinderguide

    Both are pretty different and will attract different types of girls.

    The important thing here is that they both are high quality.

    The background is blurred, so I “stand out” from the picture.

    Plus the color and lighting are bright and easy to see.

    You’re going to stand out on Tinder more than the guys with drab cell phone pictures.

    A few years ago I was sucked into attending a wedding.

    My girlfriend’s cousin was getting married and I could literally care less about being there.

    I spent more time checking my phone than watching the ceremony.

    And when that was over I made sure to have enough beer to speed through the dinner.

    An hour into the wedding a photo was taken of me at the table with everyone.

    In theory, it’s a good group shot:

    I’m wearing a suit, it shows that I have friends and that I’m social. A winner, right?

    tinderguide

    But something incredible dawned on me:

    If I wasn’t having fun in that photo… why would a girl looking at it want to come to hang out with me?

    This changed my entire perspective with Tinder.

    We all know that family events, weddings, and being at a bar with only dudes are boring.

    And yet… it’s what we choose to show on our Tinder profiles!

    Take one thing from this comprehensive Tinder Guide, let it be this:

    So we know that you need quality s to stand out on Tinder.

    But if ALL your photos are too good then it looks like:

  • You’re a fake profile.>
  • Or, you take Tinder way too seriously.>
  • OK OK fair enough I run an entire blog about Tinder.

    (It’s not something I let my first dates know though… and definitely not on my profile!)

    To make sure that your Tinder looks “authentic” you want to slot in one or two “bad” s.

    For example, here’s a shot I’ve used on my own Tinder profile.

    tinderguide

    Because my profile is so refined, an like this acts as a counterpoint.

    But if you’re wondering how to stand out on Tinder, listen up.

    The truth is it took me years of absolute failure to get any results with Online Dating.

    In fact, the first girl I managed to get willing to meet me from OkCupid was a catfish…

    (She turned out to be maybe 200lbs heavier than I was expecting.)

    It took a huge amount of effort to realize that success on Tinder comes from appearing that it takes zero effort.

    The way you get this across in your Tinder Profile though isn’t hard.

  • Keep your messages brief, like you could care less if she responds.>
  • Don’t tell her what you think she wants to hear, tell her what you really think.>
  • Keep your bio really short.>
  • Don’t brag on your bio, because that’s “try-hard”.>
  • Just remember that the “vibe” you want to get across is this:

    tinderguide

    Look at this real profile, can you guess what’s wrong with it?

    Look, the goal of your Tinder profile is one thing:

    These highlights need to be so good that a woman looks and says to herself:

    “Wow, I need to be a part of this dude’s life.”

    If all your photos are taken at the same location.

    It’s the same as saying, “Yeah my life is so boring that the only fun thing I’ve done in the last 2 years is go to the zoo.”

    Try that as your opening message on Tinder and see how well it works.

    (Seriously, try it, then email me the screenshot if it leads to a date.”

    Understand that most of the articles about this topic don’t just have bad advice.

    Some give tips that are the opposite of what you need to do.

    The reason why is this: blogs hire other people to write content.

    Likely, the writes are not experts. Their process is to good the keyword and copy what is there.

    & when we do outsource an article we demand to see screenshots of their Tinder.

    Verification? Absolutely. Our advice is made by guys who are in the top 99% of guys on Tinder.

    It’s a priority for us. And So here’s my advice:

    Cut through the clutter, and stick to the blogs that show you the results.

    (Also, read the first letter of every sentence above to learn who sucks at giving advice!)

    Part of standing out on Tinder is cutting through women who won’t like you anyway.

    The concept is really simple:

    In your bio you write what really reflects you and your humor.

    You don’t worry about whether you think the girl will like it or not like it.

    Because if you meet the girl and your “real” sides come out… and she doesn’t like it…

    Then you’ve both wasted time where you could have been with someone awesome.

    Look at this real profile, can you guess what’s wrong with it?

    Look, the goal of your Tinder profile is one thing:

    These highlights need to be so good that a woman looks and says to herself:

    “Wow, I need to be a part of this dude’s life.”

    If all your photos are taken at the same location.

    It’s the same as saying, “Yeah my life is so boring that the only fun thing I’ve done in the last 2 years is going to the zoo.”

    Try that as your opening message on Tinder and see how well it works.

    (Seriously, try it, then email me the screenshot if it leads to a date.”

    Understand that most of the articles about this topic don’t just have bad advice.

    Some give tips that are the opposite of what you need to do.

    The reason why is this: blogs hire other people to write content.

    Likely, the writers are not experts. Their process is to google the keyword and copy what is there.

    & when we do outsource an article we demand to see screenshots of their Tinder.

    Verification? Absolutely. Our advice is made by guys who are in the top 99% of guys on Tinder.

    It’s a priority for us. And So here’s my advice:

    Cut through the clutter, and stick to the blogs that show you the results.

    (Also, read the first letter of every sentence above to learn who sucks at giving advice!)

    Part of standing out on Tinder is cutting through women who won’t like you anyway.

    The concept is really simple:

    In your bio, you write what really reflects you and your humor.

    You don’t worry about whether you think the girl will like it or not like it.

    Because if you meet the girl and your “real” sides come out… and she doesn’t like it…

    Then you’ve both wasted time where you could have been with someone awesome.

    For example, I recently hired women on Fiverr to review my actual Tinder Profile.

    In it, one of the better reviews told me to remove the diarrhea joke.

    NOPE.JPG.

    Yeah, I’m a man-child, so what? I find diarrhea jokes funny.

    Do you think I want to spend 3 hours talking to a wet sponge that gets offended by poop talk?

    Whatever your personality is, make sure it comes through in your bio and photos.

    You’ll find that you “screen out” girls that aren’t interested in you either way.

    And you’ll connect better to the girls who do like poop jokes.

    Just like your little league coach used to say, “practice, practice, practice.”

    Lucky for you, you don’t have to do this alone.

  • Weekly live Tinder profile reviews.>
  • Share tips and tricks to make sure you’re always improving on your Tinder journey.>
  • And share memes that make girls find hilarious.>
  • (Occasionally I post Shrek memes too, but you know… can’t help it.)>
  • If you found our Tinder Guide helpful, you can also leave a comment below letting us know.

    I check and reply to every comment on the Zirby blog.

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