Why guys disappear and what to do when they come back
When a guy disappears, here’s what to do while he’s away
The time frame is very important when you’re trying to figure out whether a guy will ever come back after disappearing on you.
If you want him to miss you and come back, you’ll need to stick to some rules.
The first one is the no-contact rule, which means at least 30 days without getting in touch.
When a guy disappears, you can’t make a big fuss about it and blow up his phone. You need to keep calm and play it cool.
30 days of no-contact will help you see things more clearly. It will also give him enough time to figure out what he wants.
During this time, you need to force yourself to stop thinking about him. It probably seems impossible, but you’ll see that it gets easier over time.
Everything will be clearer after you process your hurt feelings.
Exes simply can’t be friends. They can try to, and in rare cases, they do have some sort of a friendship, but eventually, it gets messy.
You can’t just erase what happened between you or pretend that it didn’t – at least not for long.
So, don’t ask your ex to stay friends with you. Instead, let him miss you by leaving him alone and giving him some time to think.
Some time away from you might actually get him to realize what he’s lost. Don’t just try to keep him around, though, otherwise he’ll not get a chance to feel your absence in his life.
Bottom line? You definitely shouldn’t ask him to be friends, especially if you want more than friendship.
When a guy disappears, you sure won’t get him to come back to you by stalking him online.
Don’t stalk his profile, don’t like or comment on anything. Just because you’re still Facebook friends or you’re following him on Insta doesn’t mean that you should react to everything he posts.
Don’t leave secret, underhanded messages for him on your social media profile either. Yes, seeing a picture of you with some other guy might get to him, but it could backfire.
If you’re leaving posts that are intended to send him a message, he’ll know. Remember the no-contact rule? Well, secret messages in the form of social media posts are also not allowed.
You don’t want him to know that you’re thinking about him. Let him wonder why you’re not reacting to his disappearance.
If there’s been radio silence for a week after your guy has disappeared, you have every right to assume that it’s over. Even if he wants to come back, you’re not obligated to wait for him.
Meet new people instead and feel free to flirt with some other guy.
Remind yourself that he isn’t the only guy out there. You might even end up meeting someone way better than him.
And in the process, you’ll make him jealous and let him see that he could lose you. Besides, if he doesn’t come back, that new guy will probably be all too glad to take his place.
The best way to get a guy’s attention is to not give him any. Just ignore him and let him wonder whether you’ve gotten over him.
Show him that you’re not interested in his excuses by giving him the well-known silent treatment.
Don’t expect everything to change overnight – take your time.
If your guy disappears and then wants to come back, he needs to reach out to you and ask you for a second chance. A guy who’s not willing to do that for you is probably not the right man for you anyway.
Keep ignoring him until he notices you and sees what he could lose forever.
If his disappearance is telling you anything, it’s that he needs you to leave him alone for a while. And you need to do exactly that.
Don’t push him away even further by acting desperate or needy.
Let him be and don’t reach out to him. Don’t ask around about him. Just pretend like he doesn’t even exist anymore.
If he is interested in you, this will get him to reach out first. And if he doesn’t, it will be easier for you to forget about him.
You can use this time to become the best possible version of yourself. Have some fun with your wardrobe and change your style.
Don’t forget to change your mindset too. Love yourself enough to realize what a great catch you are even without those outward changes.
Flaunt that irresistible version of you and make him see what he’s missing. If he sees what he’s been missing out on, he’ll want to come back even more.
In the meantime, you’ll have fun making these little changes about yourself. Once you do, if he doesn’t come back, someone else surely will.
The weird dating policy is that you should act like you don’t care when you care the most. It sounds insane, but you know I’m right.
To get a man to chase you, you need to turn your back on him and walk away. Pretend that you’re over him and that you’re happy on your own.
Try to really feel that way by spending time with friends, going out and enjoying yourself.
Your guy needs to realize that disappearing and letting you get away was a huge mistake. Once he notices that you don’t care about him, he’ll start caring more about you.
If you really care about this man, at some point you’ll want to beg him to come back. But whatever you do, don’t do that.
You should never beg a man for his love and attention, no matter how badly you want it.
Don’t forget that he could always reach out to you if he wanted to. If he’s not doing so, you shouldn’t have to beg him to.
Don’t stoop that low. Preserve your dignity no matter how badly it hurts.
It’s understandable that you miss him, but he doesn’t have to know that. He needs to miss you.
If he truly cares about you, he’ll get in touch and talk to you. Don’t be the first one to reach out because you’ll probably regret it later.
Remember, if someone’s not willing to put in any effort, they don’t belong in your life.
I know that this isn’t what you want to hear, but he might have met someone else. If that’s the case, you probably want to lash out at him and tell him everything you’ve been holding in – but don’t.
When you find out what he’s been doing while he was away, don’t react.
If he got into a rebound relationship, so be it. It’s not your place to tell him what the right thing to do would be.
If he’s moved on quickly, move on too… But don’t assume that just because it seems like he’s moved on that he really has.
Maybe he has a reason for trying to get over you. He should have told you about it, but if he didn’t, let him be.
Once your guy realizes what he’s lost after disappearing and comes back to you, it will be your choice whether or not to accept him.
The most important thing to do is to stay busy. Otherwise, you’ll just keep thinking about him and wondering why he hasn’t called yet.
Don’t let yourself wait by the phone. Take control of your life.
Try to enjoy life as much as possible and do things you love. Keep yourself so busy that you don’t even have time to think about your man.
Learn a new skill, dedicate some time to your hobby, or discover a new one.
Try to be happy on your own and you’ll grow as a person and become stronger. Do yourself this favor, and you’ll find his name crossing your mind less often.
If this man finally figures out what he wants and contacts you, don’t respond right away. Take all the time you can and let him wonder what’s taking you so long.
If you cried because he cut you off, now you can have your revenge. Give him a taste of his own medicine by not rushing to get back in touch.
He needs to know that he’s not the center of your world. He’s not the most important person to you.
When you do respond after some time, say that you were too busy and ask what he wants.
Wait at least a day before responding and it will mess with his head. He’ll start thinking that he lost his chance with you and it will make him appreciate you more.
Remember that your guy was the one to disappear on you. You don’t owe him anything, so you can do whatever you want while keeping him waiting.
Whatever you do, just don’t let him know that you’re hurting. Be polite and strict at the same time.
There’s no point in crying over spilled milk. Your relationship might have ended, but your life sure hasn’t, so you should enjoy it.
I know that you feel like your world has collapsed, but it hasn’t. Don’t wallow in self-pity just because some guy can’t make up his mind about you.
Dress up and go out with your friends. Have a great time and post party pics on social media. Hey, you can even flirt with some new guys if you like.
Once your guy sees how happy you are without him, he’ll feel bad about bailing on you. That’s when he’ll want to come back.
Don’t cause any drama and you’ll leave him speechless. He’ll be impressed by how mature and strong you are.
If he’s the right man for you, he’ll come back eventually. Have fun until it happens and discover the joys of feeling good in your own skin without a man around.
If you were in a relationship, you surely have some mutual friends. Now, they can be your allies.
You can make your guy jealous by telling your mutual friends that you are seeing someone. It doesn’t even have to be true!
Casually mention that you had an amazing first date the other night.
Rest assured that your guy will know about this very quickly… and it will make him come back if he really cares about you enough that he’s afraid of losing you.
You can even flirt with some handsome guy in front of your mutual friends. If that doesn’t drive your guy crazy, nothing will.
15. Give both of you some time to think things through
Sometimes, people need some time apart to realize how much they want to be together.
In relationships, couples easily fall into a rut and a little distance often actually make things better. Don’t rush to get back together, but rather let him go for a while.
So if after your guy disappears, he wants to come back, take things slow.
You need time to miss each other. You’ll be surprised, it might actually be good for your relationship.
If you’re meant to be together, this messy breakup is not going to stop it from happening. Just be patient and keep believing in love.
Use this time to show yourself some self-love and self-care.
Pamper yourself and unwind. Use your free time to read books, go out, watch movies, travel, go hiking – whatever floats your boat.
Don’t wait for any man to do something nice for you, make yourself happy!
Work on yourself and go after your goals. If you focus on yourself, you’ll be too busy improving yourself to think about some immature guy.
At the same time, he’ll have time to think about you and start missing you.
Don’t neglect your needs and wants, and enjoy your time apart. The guy was the one to disappear – he needs to miss you.
And you know why do men come back after no contact? Because you give them enough time to feel your absence and miss you.
You’ll feel the need to cry and scream in front of him, but don’t. Don’t let him know just how upset you are.
You don’t want him to think that you’re desperate because that’s never attractive.
Smile when he sees you and act like you’re doing great. When you need to express your hurt feelings, do it in front of your friends and family.
He doesn’t have to know how much he has hurt you just yet. Instead, he needs to see you as a strong woman who can be fine on her own.
If you had to ask strong women, they’d tell you that’s why men always come back.
Moving on can be really difficult, but you should at least pretend that you’ve moved on. Even though it’s not what you want, you have to try to get over him.
The guy hurt you by disappearing. He can’t just walk into your life whenever he pleases.
Shed a tear and grow thicker skin so that you won’t easily forgive him and take him back.
You don’t want him to take you for granted again anyway.