okcupid write an intro how do i respond?

The giddy sensation you feel when you match with someone cute on any dating app can quickly die down if they hit you with a straightforward, personality-less “hey” as an opening line. Sure, “hey” does the job of opening up the conversation, but its not particularly interesting and doesnt really make someone want to reply. Finding fun, clever, witty, or even silly opening lines for OkCupid, Hinge, Bumble, or your preferred dating app of choice can seem a little tricky if youre lacking inspiration. (Um, yes, hi, me.) But don’t stress. In 2009, the OkCupid team conducted an experiment where they analyzed 500,000 first messages on their site, and found several factors that play a part in whether or not you get a reply from an OkCupid intro — and whether or not that could lead to a first date.

The experiment looked at keywords and phrases, how they impacted replies, and what conversation starters really made a difference. Based on what the experiment found, OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder created a few suggestions (and blogged about them on the dating app) to consider applying to your own OkCupid intro. First, he suggested users spell out full words, and not use abbreviations. Second, he suggested trying to avoid physical compliments. Instead of “hey” or “hi,” saying something like “Hows it going?” — a question that requires an answer — has a higher chance of response. Rudder also suggested bringing up specific interests based on something you saw on your matchs OkCupid profile.

Even earlier research from 2015 — published in an OkCupid data report from 2016 — supports starting a conversation with something other than “Hey.” Data scientists from OkCupid found sending “Hey” had an 84% chance of being ignored. After scanning more than 1 million conversations, the report also found data scientists that, across all sexual identities, 40-90 characters was the ideal length for a successful first message. That said, not adhering strictly to the 40-90 characters “rule” didnt offer much of a difference between “good” and “bad” conversation starters. Most tellingly, the report found short and sincere messages (i.e. something from their profile you liked or found interesting) were more likely to result in a good conversation.

Short and sweet messages do the trick, as does sending a question to be answered, but beyond that, what makes an OkCupid intro message worthy of a response? Do you send a punny first message? A thoughtful one? Is it better to be cheeky? Sexy? Is a lame first message actually kind of endearing to a stranger? Damona Hoffman, OkCupid Dating Coach and host of The Dates & Mates Podcast, says that even though she’s not a huge fan on pick-up lines IRL, “on a dating app they actually can be effective and might even make the recipient laugh, which can lead to a reply.” When in doubt, go for a laugh. And if you’re worried how that might land, Hoffman recommends you can “acknowledge the cheesiness of pick-up lines or the fact that youre sending it with a wink and a nod.”

Hoffman adds that according to internal OkCupid data, “30% of users said that asking a question is the best ice-breaker followed by a simple introduction, which is preferred by 27%.” So a cheesy opening line and a question are both icebreakers OkCupid users are clearly into. But if you’re still stumped on what to say, try these suggestions below.

Once you’ve messaged someone, your intro will go to their Intros tab.

How to send that first introduction to someone:
  1. Like them. From Discover, drag their photo to the right or click the heart icon. …
  2. Visit their profile and send a message. …
  3. Wait for their response.

How To Use OkCupid – Beginners Guide

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How to send an introductory message to someoneLike them. From Discover, drag their photo to the right or click the heart icon. … Visit their profile and send a message. … Wait for their response.Nov 25, 2021

30 Opening Lines For OkCupid That’ll Give Your Match Heart Eyes

The experiment looked at keywords and phrases, how they impacted replies, and what conversation starters really made a difference. Based on what the experiment found, OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder created a few suggestions (and blogged about them on the dating app) to consider applying to your own OkCupid intro. First, he suggested users spell out full words, and not use abbreviations. Second, he suggested trying to avoid physical compliments. Instead of “hey” or “hi,” saying something like “Hows it going?” — a question that requires an answer — has a higher chance of response. Rudder also suggested bringing up specific interests based on something you saw on your matchs OkCupid profile.

Hoffman adds that according to internal OkCupid data, “30% of users said that asking a question is the best ice-breaker followed by a simple introduction, which is preferred by 27%.” So a cheesy opening line and a question are both icebreakers OkCupid users are clearly into. But if you’re still stumped on what to say, try these suggestions below.

Short and sweet messages do the trick, as does sending a question to be answered, but beyond that, what makes an OkCupid intro message worthy of a response? Do you send a punny first message? A thoughtful one? Is it better to be cheeky? Sexy? Is a lame first message actually kind of endearing to a stranger? Damona Hoffman, OkCupid Dating Coach and host of The Dates & Mates Podcast, says that even though she’s not a huge fan on pick-up lines IRL, “on a dating app they actually can be effective and might even make the recipient laugh, which can lead to a reply.” When in doubt, go for a laugh. And if you’re worried how that might land, Hoffman recommends you can “acknowledge the cheesiness of pick-up lines or the fact that youre sending it with a wink and a nod.”

Even earlier research from 2015 — published in an OkCupid data report from 2016 — supports starting a conversation with something other than “Hey.” Data scientists from OkCupid found sending “Hey” had an 84% chance of being ignored. After scanning more than 1 million conversations, the report also found data scientists that, across all sexual identities, 40-90 characters was the ideal length for a successful first message. That said, not adhering strictly to the 40-90 characters “rule” didnt offer much of a difference between “good” and “bad” conversation starters. Most tellingly, the report found short and sincere messages (i.e. something from their profile you liked or found interesting) were more likely to result in a good conversation.

The giddy sensation you feel when you match with someone cute on any dating app can quickly die down if they hit you with a straightforward, personality-less “hey” as an opening line. Sure, “hey” does the job of opening up the conversation, but its not particularly interesting and doesnt really make someone want to reply. Finding fun, clever, witty, or even silly opening lines for OkCupid, Hinge, Bumble, or your preferred dating app of choice can seem a little tricky if youre lacking inspiration. (Um, yes, hi, me.) But don’t stress. In 2009, the OkCupid team conducted an experiment where they analyzed 500,000 first messages on their site, and found several factors that play a part in whether or not you get a reply from an OkCupid intro — and whether or not that could lead to a first date.

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