If you can sit down with him and get him to talk about what’s going on, you might find clinical reasons for his mood changes – assuming these chances are recent and you haven’t been trying to talk him off the ledge for the last twenty years hoping things would get better.
How To Deal With An Angry Spouse? Sadhguru Answers
7) It’s common to blame others for one’s own problems
Unfortunately, one of the most common coping mechanisms that people have for dealing with stress and disappointment in life is to blame someone else for the way they feel.
If your partner has been chronically blaming you or irritated by you, it probably has nothing to do with you at all.
While that should make you feel better, the truth is that it doesn’t because you’ve just graduated from something’s wrong with me to something’s wrong with them and you’ll want to fix it.
Only your partner can decide to fix their problems and stop projecting their unhappiness onto you.
If you want your husband to stop being so angry and irritable all the time, you must make him feel like your provider and protector, and someone you genuinely admire.
In other words, you have to make him feel like a hero (not exactly like Thor though).
I know it sounds a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a provider.
Men have a thirst for your admiration and respect. They want to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives and service, provide and protect her. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
A man won’t fall in love with a woman when this thirst isn’t satisfied (this could be part of the reason your husband is angry all the time).
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here.
It’s called the hero instinct. This term was coined by relationship psychologist James Bauer.
The best part of the hero instinct is that you can easily trigger it in your husband.
To learn how to do this, watch this free online video. James Bauer gives a terrific introduction to his concept.
If you can trigger the hero instinct in your husband, you’ll see the results immediately.
When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to your marriage.
Some ideas really are life-changing. And for marriages which are in trouble, this is one of them. Here’s a link to the excellent video again.
Even if the thing that set them off seemed to happen out of nowhere, it’s hard for people to return to a normal state after being on edge for so long.
A lot of the delay in getting back to normal is caused by mistrust.
If your partner doesn’t trust in themselves or the situation they have found themselves in, this lingering feeling of nothing is good enough is going to stick around for a while.
If you choose to stay in this relationship, you both need to figure out how to move forward in a way that doesn’t make you feel like a punching bag and in a way that ensures your partner takes responsibility for their feelings.
It’s a learning curve and many couples don’t make it out of these situations in one piece. It has to come from both sides if the decision to move forward together is made.
10) It’s probably been going on a lot longer than you’re letting on
One of the good things that can come from a situation like this is that it forces you to sit down and be realistic and honest about your relationship.
You might come to find that your partner has been treating you this way for a lot longer than you realize or let on and it’s caused a lot more problems than you wanted to admit before.
If you’ve hit a breaking point with this relationship, another outburst or blame session might be the thing that does you in.
Maybe he doesn’t like you anymore but you need to figure out why that is the case.
It’s important to have these conversations with your partner so they can understand how this is impacting you.
If he is hurting your feelings and he doesn’t care, then you need to sit down and talk about it.
It’s a revelation for a lot of people to learn that they’ve allowed someone to mistreat them for so long and it can be empowering when you finally make the decision to move forward in a way that serves you, not just maintains the peace and status quo.
If you feel like you’ve tried everything and your man is still pulling away, it’s probably because his fears of commitment are so deep-rooted in his subconscious, even he’s not aware of them.
And unfortunately, unless you can get inside his mind and understand how the male psyche works, nothing you do will make him see you as “the one”.
We’ve created the ultimate free quiz based on Sigmund Freud’s revolutionary theories, so you can finally understand what’s holding your man back.
No more trying to be the perfect woman. No more nights wondering how to repair the relationship.
With just a few questions, you’ll know exactly why he’s pulling away, and most importantly, what you can do to avoid losing him for good.
Because you can’t force someone to change their ways, you will eventually have to have a hard conversation with yourself about what you want and need.
So many people bury their heads in the sand to avoid conflict or confrontation but exploring how you benefit from this situation might be an eye-opening reflection you need to decide to move on to greener pastures.
While encouraging break-ups is not the intention here, it is important for you to understand your role in this situation: you’re allowing that person to treat you like this.
At any time, you can stop allowing it to be a part of your life. And unfortunately, that might require a separation or break up.
A good way to assess the outcomes is to ask yourself this question: if I could be happy with them or without them, which would I choose? And then be brutally honest with yourself about the answer.
Often anger and frustration comes from an internal place and not because of external stimuli.
Your partner might need to seek help for their anger or frustration and you might need to find ways to support them through it. The choice is yours.
First, let’s make one thing clear: just because your husband is getting annoyed all the time doesn’t mean the marriage is in trouble.
However, if you’re feeling that things aren’t on track with your marriage, I encourage you to act to turn things around now before matters get any worse.
The best place to start is by watching this free video by marriage guru Brad Browning. He explains where you’ve been going wrong and what you need to do to make your husband fall back in love with you.
Many things can slowly infect a marriage—distance, lack of communication and sexual issues. If not dealt with correctly, these problems can morph into infidelity and disconnectedness.
When someone asks me for an expert to help save failing marriages, I always recommend Brad Browning.
Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. He is a best-selling author and dispenses valuable advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel.
The strategies Brad reveals in this video are extremely powerful and might be the difference between a “happy marriage” and an “unhappy divorce”.