When Your Partner Doesn’t Trust You | by Jay Shetty
He’s Been Hurt Before
If your boyfriend has been hurt by someone before, he’s naturally going to be a little bit cautious going into a new relationship. He has to learn to trust people again.
Maybe his ex-girlfriend lied to him or cheated on him. She might have done something behind his back and he found out. Him not trusting you is a common response to those previous relationship issues.
Unfortunately, even though you didn’t do anything wrong, he may still have a hard time trusting you. This can be caused by his previous relationships and how they ended.
It’s important to think of some of the little things that might remind him of those situations. You don’t have to know all of the details, but you should be aware. You texting a guy could bring back bad memories because that’s what his ex-girlfriend was doing when she cheated.
Just think about some of those possibilities. Make sure you’re standing by your guy’s side. Try not to rush him through this process. It may take some time and effort for him to get over everything that happened. You can still earn his trust over time though!
He Has Trust Issues
Your boyfriend could have issues with trusting people in general. This wouldn’t only apply to you. He may not trust very many other people at all. This could be affecting your relationship as well his other friendships.
This lack of trust may be rooted in a number of different things. It could have to do with his family, a failed friendship, another relationship, or something else. The possibilities are endless.
You don’t need to pry and try to figure out what triggered these trust issues. Just know that he doesn’t trust easily for some reason, which means you will have to earn his trust.
If you’ve found out that he does have trust issues and that it’s nothing you did, you should just work on earning his trust. Show him that you’re deserving of this trust and that you won’t hurt him. This is probably what he needs and it will help your relationship as well.
Be patient as he works through these trust issues. It can be frustrating, but there’s not a lot you can do. Let him know that you’re supporting him and that he can trust you. This should make a little bit of a difference.
You Have Broken His Trust
If you have been unfaithful to your boyfriend and broken his trust at some point, he’s going to have a hard time trusting you again. He has been hurt by that situation and is being cautious. He doesn’t want to go through it again.
Though he should be forgiving, unfaithfulness in a relationship is a very hard thing to move past. He might forgive you, but he might need some time in order to trust you the same way again.
If you have cheated on your boyfriend, this is exactly why he doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t feel like he can because you went behind his back and were with someone else.
As you work through this as a couple, be patient with your boyfriend. This isn’t an overnight change and he probably needs your support. He needs you to earn the trust back, which may be tricky to do.
Put some effort into being there for your boyfriend and working to earn back the trust. It can be a good idea to ask him how to earn back the trust and what he would like you to do. This gesture can help you to get more trust.
Watch this video to see what to do after you’ve cheated on your boyfriend: