None of the reasons for why he is acting distant is going to be solved by desperately trying to pull him in and spend more time with him. He is acting distant because that’s what feels right to him. If you give space and time to figure out things out, then eventually he’ll more than likely come around.
Is He Acting Distant? No Problem. This Tactic Will Have Him Running Back And Attached To Your Hip!
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
If you’re starting to feel panicky and worried, and you just don’t know what to do, the first and most important step is not to freak out.
Your instincts are going to scream at you that you need to get reassurance and validation from him. They’ll be driving you to try to get attention and affection from him, in order to soothe the insecurity about the relationship that you’re feeling.
That’s the biggest mistake that many women make in this situation, and it’s often a fatal one to the relationship.
The huge mistake that many women make in this situation is to let fear of loss control their actions. When you let fear and insecurity dictate your actions in your relationship, you make it much, much more likely that things will fall apart between you.
Instead of feeling happy, relaxed, and comfortable around him, and enjoying the time you spend with him, you’ll be feeling insecure and worried instead. Every time you talk to him, you’ll feel insecurity rising up in your chest.
Instead of enjoying the time you spend together, you’ll be looking for validation from him. You won’t feel ‘ok‘ unless you soothe your anxiety about how he feels about you.
That’s what I call a ‘needy mindset’. I’m going to go into that in detail in a little bit, but what you should remember for now is that it’s poison to any relationship.
Instead of feeling happy to be with you, he’ll feel like you’re trying to get validation from him every time you talk. That feels awful for both of you, and winds up pushing him away even further.
The Biggest Reasons Guys Act Distant All Of A Sudden
Guys generally start acting distant all of a sudden (i.e. out of the blue in a relationship) when something outside the relationship grabs their attention and forces them to concentrate on it. This could be a problem at work, a problem with his family, something in his personal life stressing him out, or something else entirely. The most important thing to remember is that letting him have the space to deal with what’s bothering him is the best possible thing to do in this situation.
I’m going to talk about the biggest reasons that men become distant, and what you should do in each case.
One of the biggest reasons that a guy might start acting distant towards you is if something in his life is stressing him out outside the relationship, and he wants to tackle it alone.
Maybe he’s having problems at work and doesn’t feel like talking about them. Or maybe work is just extra stressful for a little while.
Maybe something stressful is happening in his family and he doesn’t feel comfortable discussing it.
Maybe something else has gone wrong in his life and he’s working on that.
Whatever it is – he’s got less energy, attention, and time for everything in his life outside the problem, and that includes the relationship.
This can feel like he’s being distant towards you, when really his energy and attention is just focused elsewhere. This can feel especially strong if you were super close before, because the sudden shift in the dynamic between you can feel jarring.
The most important thing to remember in this situation is that his acting distant has nothing to do with you. It’s all about what’s going on in his personal life – and you might not even know about it.
The best thing to do is not to chase after him, not to crowd him, and not to go to him for reassurance or validation.
Rather, let him take the space he needs to figure out what’s going on and solve the problems in his life. You can let him know you’re there for him if he needs you, but let him take the space he needs to figure out what’s going on in his own life.
If he’s really working through a problem, he’ll appreciate you understanding that he needs a bit of time and space and giving it to him, without getting angry, attacking him, or trying to punish him for being distant.
But what if he’s acting distant because of something in the relationship? What should you do then?
Watch The Video: What To When He Suddenly Acts Distant
Another big reason a guy might start acting distant all of a sudden is because he might be feeling smothered in the relationship.
This happens when a guy feels ‘neediness’ from you, and pulls back because of it.
I spoke a little bit about neediness before, so here’s what it’s really about: Being ‘needy’ isn’t anything specific you do – it’s about your mindset in the relationship.
If you ‘need’ him to act a certain way or respond a certain way to you in order to feel “ok” – that’s a needy mindset. That’s going to come through in every interaction you have with him… he’s going to feel like you ‘need’ something from him in order to feel ok inside.
When a guy feels like you ‘need’ him more than you ‘desire’ him, it’s poison in a relationship. It will instinctively make him pull away from you.
If he’s acting super annoyed with you when you interact with him, it’s more likely that he’s feeling smothered or something else in the relationship is bothering him.
So if that’s the case – what should you do?
If he’s acting distant because he’s feeling smothered and like he has to pull away, then you should do the exact same thing as the first scenario when he was acting distant because something in his life was stressing him out.
Play it cool! Don’t try to pull him back, don’t chase after him, and don’t seek his validation.
Instead, if he’s pulling away, give him the space he’s looking for.
The ‘needy’ thing to do in this situation is text him, call him, and reach out to him seeking validation. It will feel bad to him (and to you), because you’ll be chasing after him and trying to get something from him, rather than enjoying the relationship naturally.
Instead, let him have the space to miss you. He can’t miss you if you’re chasing after him, or calling and texting him to try to get his attention – he won’t have the opportunity to start to miss you.
He can only miss you if you give him the space to miss talking to you and miss being with you.
The best thing you can do is give him the space to feel like he’s in control and give him the opportunity to miss you. That will make him much more likely to stop acting distant and come back to you instead.
That brings me to the final reason a guy might start acting distant all of a sudden: he could be having doubts about your relationship.
It sucks, and it hurts to hear, but it’s a possibility.
If that’s the case – you have no control over what he decides to do. He’s got to work it out in his own head.
The only thing you can do at that point is hurt your chances with him – by reaching out to him, seeking validation and attention. If you try to reach out to him because you’re feeling insecure about the relationship, it’s only going to reinforce his doubts and push him further away. (Because you’ll ‘need’ him to respond in order to feel ‘ok‘ – and that’s going to make him feel worse about the relationship).
So your strategy in this situation is still the same: play it cool, let him have some space and time away from the relationship so that he can figure out what he wants to do.
If he decides he doesn’t want to be in the relationship, that sucks… but it couldn’t have been avoided. Nothing you could have said or done while he was taking some time and space would have made him change his mind.
Don’t feel bad or try to second guess yourself – you avoided the awful experience of chasing after his attention and affection, without being able to change the final result.
No matter what happens, you give yourself the best chance of staying together by letting him have the time he needs to figure things out in his head.
He’ll respect that you’re giving him the space he’s looking for without attacking him or punishing him for it. And that will make him more likely to be honest with you in the future, and want to stay together with you.
I hope this article helped you understand the main reasons that a guy will suddenly start acting differently and distant towards you. Are you confident you know exactly what to do in this situation to bring him back? Because there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men so pay attention because the next step is vitally important. If you are already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
And the second big problem that could leave you heartbroken and alone forever is this: Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…