Did He Say “I Love You” Too Soon? Here’s How to Respond
He’s saying ‘I love you’ too soon, what do you do? Believe him or become suspicious? Love isn’t felt after days, so perhaps question his motives.
He’s saying I love you too soon? Let’s be honest, you need to be very wary indeed. They’re either nut-jobs, flakes, cheaters, too clingy, or just wanting to get into your pants fast.
Despite the fact that many ladies want to believe that they’re attractive enough for a guy easily fall in love with them, or that the fairy tales are true, it’s not happening. If you believe that “love at first sight” really does exist—well, maybe wake up and smell the coffee.
The reality is, love takes time to develop. Those early butterflies in your tummy? Those may just be all because of infatuation. Other people can attest that those people who fall in love so quickly can just as easily and quickly fall out of love.
They may even easily and quickly fall for someone else. And then before you know it, you have a big problem on your hands—plus some heartbreak. Guys who are quick to jump the gun and declare their love are most likely just in love with the idea of love more than they are actually in love with YOU.
There is no right and wrong answer when figuring out how long it takes to fall in love. Everyone is different.
However, one thing is for sure – you can’t fall in actual, true love after a few days or a couple of weeks. Love needs to grow and develop. You need to get to know the person and understand that they have a negative side as well as a positive – we all do!
If someone is telling you that they love you after a couple of days, you have to question their motives. That’s not us being negative or hating on love, it’s just realism. [Read: How long does it take to fall in love? The answer to know for sure]
The first overwhelming sensations you experience when you meet someone aren’t love. They’re lust, they’re infatuation.
Love comes later. If anything, love comes when everything has calmed down and is less butterfly-inducing. Love doesn’t actually feel overwhelming and like a rollercoaster of emotions, it feels calm and serene.
It’s very easy to confuse the first stages of meeting someone with love. If he’s saying ‘I love you’ too soon, he’s either confused about what love is, or he’s up to no good. [Read: 18 tips to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale]
When is saying ‘I love you’ inappropriate or too soon?
While you’re dating, keep a vigilant eye and ear—as well as heart—on those three little words, especially if they are uttered in the following contexts:
While “love at first sight” might be true for some, saying “I love you” after just a few dates may not always be a good idea.
If he says those words within at least a couple of months or more, that doesn’t guarantee that he knows you enough to back those words up. Chances are, he might mistake love for something else.
You haven’t even been in bed together *yet*. So if he starts uttering those words, then it may just be a ploy to get inside your pants. Wait a little longer and don’t give up your goods yet.
If he thinks you’ll sleep with him just because you like hearing him saying I love you, then maybe he’s not really worth it, after all. [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to get into your pants]
Some men will do and say anything just to get laid. If you’re kissing, hugging, and making out, and suddenly he feels some hesitation from you, he might panic and say, “I love you.” No. Fix your hair, fix your dress, and bolt out the door.
The bedroom is not the best place to say anything near the L word for the first time.
People can say things they don’t mean when they are in the throes of passion, especially when the sex is great and they’re about to come. Who knows—the guy might even be visualizing having sex with his ex for all you know. [Read: All the reasons why saying I love you too soon sucks]
People can also say things they don’t mean post-sex. All the released serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine are muddling their brains, and they’re as good as intoxicated. He may feel extra close and attached to you as you cuddle.
Before you believe any promise or declaration of love that comes out of his mouth, make sure that the relationship is standing on some solid foundation. And by foundation, we mean trust, intimacy, knowledge of each other, and respect.
If he is saying I love you, but you’re not sure who else he is saying those words to, then you will have a big problem if you believe what he says. [Read: Infatuation vs Love – 20 ways you can tell the difference]
So he says he loves you, but he’s not serious about your relationship or is not willing to commit?
If he says those words, think about how you feel in that exact moment. Do you believe it? Do his words really reflect his actions?
If he’s saying one thing and doing another, then he’s not really sincere and may just be manipulating you. [Read: Signs your guy means it when he says I love you]