Unlike certain sites and dating apps like OkCupid and Tinder, Bumble puts women in control of making the first move. Once you and a woman match, SHE has to be the one to start the conversation. This takes some much-needed pressure off you guys, but there’s still some stress that can come with how to reply to that first message on Bumble.
After all, despite not needing to worry about making the first move, you still need to keep in mind that women tend to get bombarded when it comes to digital dating. You need to make a good impression, but you can also use this newfound assertiveness that may not come so easily for women to your advantage.
Women are generally not hunters when it comes to dating. Societal norms have not required them to come up with witty pickup lines and how-tos on approaching men at bars. If anything, women have had to practice their best shutdowns for those guys who either come on overly aggressive or just CAN’T get the hint.
- Volley back your own playful opener. …
- Make a specific observation about their profile. …
- Use Bumble’s features to bond over a shared hobby. …
- Don’t overthink it.
How to Respond To a Woman’s First Message on Bumble | Replying to Hey
Strategy #1: Be Witty
Like I said, we women aren’t professionals when it comes to making the first move. And when you haven’t gone through the trial-and-error that many guys face when trying to hook a woman with a great first impression, even the most fascinating woman can deliver a greeting that resembles the personality of a fat-free plain yogurt — and not even a GREEK, fat-free plain yogurt, just a boring old fat-free yogurt.
Basically, this is most likely going to be the personality of most of your first messages on Bumble.
Remember that a lack of personality during an initial message doesn’t mean that the woman in question is actually boring; she simply hasn’t garnered the experience (and hasn’t been required to make certain efforts) that guys have.
Let’s say her first message on bumble is something super boring like this:
Before you decide to disregard the very personification of fat-free plain yogurt, offer a witty response, such as this:
You: Try again :).
Always make sure that with a response like this you insert a smiley face (although our test user Rico decided the super masculine direct approach of no smiley-face, which worked for him), so she knows you’re not just being a jerk.
By doing this, you give her the perfect opening to show her flirty side. Below are a few more examples of how to respond to hi on bumble, witty style.
Your pictures look fun, but your “hey” opening line is kinda boring Try again..
You could’ve at least mentioned something cute about my dogs?
Ahh, I’m sad. You couldn’t come up with anything else but a “hey”?
Life is all about forgiveness and second chances. You got anything else but a “hey”?
In 6 months when we’re official, we can’t tell our friends your opening line was a “hey”. Try again
Pretend you read my bio and come up with something a bit more clever…
Only an A’s fan would send a “hey” first message. Try again (example works if your fave team is a rival)
Come on with that “hey” message, we’re both Rangers fans. Try again
As a mom you should know I’m feeling even lonelier after reading your “hey” message. Try again
Update your “hey” message to this: Consider this a brief smile from a distance…with slightly longer than usual eye contact
I see you’re a golfer. Your “hi” message is as good as your tee shot in the water. You’re now granted 1 mulligan
Zoltar just advised me to give you another chance. Because “hi” just doesn’t cut it
Strategy #2: Be Direct
Another route to take when a woman’s first message on Bumble is boring is to ask her to get more creative with her first message. She may not always give a monosyllabic “hi” BUT there are several symptoms of a bad copy-and-paste job when it comes to the first message. Symptoms include:
A long first message that reads like a job description (i.e., “Hi Eric, my name’s Samantha. I read your profile and you seem like an interesting guy. My interests include XYZ and I am looking for…” etc.)
If that happens, say something like this:
You: Is that the best copy/paste job you can do ?
Again, by using a smiley face you’re being direct without being a jerk. Being direct also shows that you have confidence, which is something that women LOVE and will flock to.
A direct man is someone who is secure in himself and knows what he wants. And that type of confidence can be sexier than a set of six-pack abs when you’re a woman on Bumble (or in the general public, really).
According to Psychology Today, a confident man is one who has found the “golden mean” between low self-esteem and arrogance.
When many self-proclaimed “nice guys” respond to a woman’s first message only to get crickets in return, they may assume that this is just another woman looking for an agro “bad boy.”
The truth is that us ladies DON’T want a jerk — at least not those of us that are searching for and ready to be in a mature, long-term relationship. Sometimes women will get initially drawn into a jerk due to the charm and confidence they exude.
Conversely, women may reject guys who are nice, but also exude a lot of shyness and low self-esteem. This isn’t a woman being mean, but simply wanting someone who is secure with himself, someone who knows what he wants and is willing to pursue it.
Be honest, you didn’t read my bio did you?
Your bio is telling me you’re a creative writer. Pen something a bit more clever
I’ll buy first date drinks if you can do better than “hey”
“Hey” doesn’t cut it for me. What else you got?
I’m worth more than just a “hey”. I promise. Try again
First dates are reserved for women who write at least one complete sentence
Don’t be one of the 8 of 10 women who just send hi on bumble Try again..
I’d rather have you spell my name wrong than get a basic “hi” from you
Strategy #3: Do Not Reply Back to a Lame Message With the Same Lame Message She Sent You
When a woman’s first message on bumble is something lame, never respond in kind:
This kind of thing will lead to one of two results:
Use one of the responses suggested in Strategy #1. Or, here are some other witty responses you can send to captivate her, in spite of her monosyllabic greeting:
“Hi! Phew, now that we finally got THAT out of the way, let’s get down to business: Does your typical Monday evening routine include happy hour, yoga, or Netflixing? Personally, I prefer all three at the same time.”
Just another “hi” message. I know you can do better than that
You’re an artist right? I have a hard time believing you can’t create something better than a “hey” opening line.
I’m not allowed to respond to “hi” messages. Try again
Bumble also gives you the option of sending GIFs in lieu of, or to accompany, your text responses, which can be a great way to break the ice. For example, if she says “Hi,” you can respond with something like this.
This can get her laughing and help her to loosen up.