- Talk for a bit, first. While you don’t want to chat for a month before meeting in person, don’t make your very first message a date invitation. …
- Calm down. …
- Keep it casual. …
- Work it in. …
- Be patient. …
- Shake it off.
How To Ask a Woman Out on a Dating App CORRECTLY (w/ TDL)
Realize that timing is EVERYTHING.
She’s not on OkCupid to find a new , shes seeking a of some sort. So if you a long time to suggest a date, shell probably lose interest and move on. But if you come on too strong, youll scare her off.
Nailing that timing can be one of the most difficult aspects of meeting someone online. But once you understand when to ask her out, you’ll be in the drivers seat.
Our team of modern dating experts analyzed thousands of dating site conversations that resulted in dates for our male clients. After crunching the data, we learned the ideal time to ask for the date is after she’s sent you 2 or 3 messages.
So a successful messaging sequence looks like this:
If you’re floating the majority of the conversation and her answers seem short, cautious or hesitant, you’ll want to keep the exchange going a little longer.
Get in her head with some Psych 101.
You are, after all, a total stranger. So for her to say yes to coffee or cocktails, she needs to feel comfortable meeting you in person. Researchers have invested thousands of hours into figuring out how and why some people just seem to “click.”
One theory is the Rule of Connectivity, which states: “The more we feel connected to, part of, liked by, or attracted to someone, the more persuasive they become.”
So basically, people simply feel more comfortable with other people who remind them of themselves. What’s similar is familiar and we take comfort in that.
You can make a woman feel comfortable with you by mimicking the style in which she communicates. In person you do this with body language, and online you can do it with your messaging style and word choice.
Here’s how to do it:
Recognize when she’s ready to meet you.
The trick is to pay attention to what, how much, and in what tone she’s writing.
If you’re lucky, a girl will send you a message that practically screams, “I’m into you.” In this situation, you can ask for the date more quickly.
But if you’re the type of the guy who needs a slap with a 2×4 to realize this hot girl really digs you, fear not – we’re about to break down the signs:
Confidence is an attractive personality trait, and confident men ask women out.
Insecurity, on the other hand, isn’t sexy at all. Saying something like, “I know you probably don’t want to go out with a guy like me, but in case you do, I figured I would ask . . . blah blah blah” is a guaranteed way to send her running for the hills.