Silence After A Breakup | Silence Is Key After A Breakup
How powerful is silence after a break up? 17 ‘no contact’ tips
The no contact rule isn’t a miracle cure, it takes time to work. How long should you stay silent after a breakup?
Most experts say you should wait a minimum of 30 to 60 days before you talk to your ex again.
But if you’re looking to totally heal, you might even need much longer. It’s not unusual to take a big break from your ex of six months or even a year.
That way any friendship you build is less likely to be based on leftover feelings from the relationship.
If you feel like no contact isn’t working, chances are you haven’t given it long enough yet. Healing takes time.
No contact is about giving you the space to process your grief and have a better idea of where you want to go from here. You can’t rush it.
If you’ve been trying to convince your ex to change their mind and come back to you, then you’re only going to end up hurting yourself more.
Even if you want them back, there’s a strong risk you will only come away looking needy. If you keep chasing your ex, you’ll only push them further away.
You’ll find it much easier to move on when you stop focusing on why things went wrong and instead focus on moving forward.
Even if deep down you don’t want to move on right now, you just want them back, it’s still for the best. The more you try to fix things, the less work they think they need to do. The more available you seem to them.
They say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. If your ex thinks they can get you back at the click of their fingers it’s difficult for them to realize what they lost.
Your silence is powerful as it shows you have boundaries and are not at their beck and call.
The truth is never exclusively good or bad. Real-life is usually full of both ups and downs.
Your relationship obviously had plenty of downs, or you wouldn’t have split up. But we can have a tendency to look back on the good times after a breakup and miss those times.
But now is actually the perfect time to recall all the shitty moments. It will help you to stay strong. We tend to cling onto relationships for the wrong reasons.
We don’t want to be alone, or we feel sad that we have to let someone go. But they are not good enough reasons if the relationship wasn’t working.
Thinking about the bad times will remind you of the reasons why you broke up in the first place.
Try replaying the moments that your ex hurt you, made you cry, made you angry, disappointed you, and let you down, etc.
You might even want to write it all down and return to it every time you need strength to stay away from your ex.
When you’re feeling vulnerable and sad, it’s easy to fall into negative thinking patterns.You may even feel like you’re losing control and that everything is falling apart around you.
Talking to someone who really understands how you feel can help you see things differently. It also reminds you that you’re not alone.
You’re allowed to feel upset. A friend or family member can be the perfect person to lean on when you need some extra TLC.
Arrange with a buddy to call them instead whenever you are tempted to reach out to your ex.
They can also help you to understand why you’re feeling the way you are, and keep you strong when you have moments of weakness.
If you’re having trouble talking to anyone you know, there are still plenty of people willing to listen to you. Chat rooms and online groups can be a good way to talk to strangers who can offer comfort and advice.
Sometimes we all need a little extra support. This is definitely the case after a breakup.