- Do Compliment a Photo. But don’t be weird about it! …
- Don’t Start With “Hey” Sigh. …
- Do Send Something Flirty. …
- Don’t Wait for Them to Make the First Move. …
- Do Ask About What They’re Into. …
- Don’t Be Overly Aggressive. …
- Do Keep it Simple. …
- Don’t Wait Too Long to Reply.
4 ways on How to keep a Tinder conversation ALIVE – by Tinder’s most ‘Right-Swiped’ Male.
Stage 1: How To Start A Tinder Conversation
Women tend to get bombarded with messages on Tinder, and if she’s attractive she’s getting that much more attention.
You need to cut through all that clutter in her message queue, and here’s the best way to do it.
When your icebreaker makes her feel something, you’ve created an instant connection – and that makes it more likely she’ll invest her time in a reply.
This is why messages like “hey” or “hi” tend to fail so hard with interesting, intriguing women.
She gets messages like that constantly, and it was boring the first time. No emotional response = no bond. (And no reply!)
So what does a successful Tinder conversation starter look like?
Adventure is a great way to spice up a Tinder message exchange.
A fun twist on “what are you up to this weekend.”
Travel is a go-to Tinder chat topic because most women love it, or at the very least daydreaming about it.
Sending a message like “Hey” or “You’re hot” on a dating app doesn’t give the conversation any direction, so unless you’re the next Ryan Gosling she has no real incentive to participate in it.
Just like when you’re approaching an attractive woman at a party, you need to entice her into chatting, and lame pick-up lines or a cheesy compliment just wont cut it.
So make it easier for her to engage with you by giving her a question to answer in your conversation starters, just like in all the examples you just read.
Here are 3 more tips for starting a great conversation:
The last thing you want to do on Tinder is look desperate or needy, so a casual follow up like this is perfect…
GIFs are ideal way to get your point across in a humorous way, with the added bonus of jumping out in her inbox.
But if its still crickets after your second attempt to start a conversation, it’s generally best to move on and focus your efforts on someone more receptive.
Consider keeping track of which icebreakers get the best response rate for you, as some will work better for different age groups.
While it may seem a bit tedious, collecting that data in the beginning will save you time in the long run as you’ll be able to pinpoint which tinder openers perform best for you, and stick to those.
You can use your own spreadsheet tracking method, or our handy response rate calculator.
Stage 2: How To Keep A Tinder Conversation Going
Now comes the even trickier part – keeping her interested long enough to move things off the app.
Don’t worry – we’ve got a simple formula for keeping the momentum going that works on any online dating site or app:
The “AAA” strategy is effective for several reasons:
This actual Tinder conversation example shows what this strategy looks like out in the wild…
Use one of these for inspiration:
You may need to add a little context first. You want to make sure your question fits the flow of the conversation.
While it may seem like a problem, look at it this way – she still took the time to send a message, right?
You just need to move the conversation in a different direction.
In the real Tinder conversation above, she drops the b-word. Boring. It’s the kiss of death on Tinder, and you need to rally – stat.
If your previous question(s) were more on the chatty small talk side, switch modes and ask her something more substantive:
See how this conversation still follows the basic “AAA” strategy you just learned?
Acknowledge her answer, answer the question yourself with a personal tidbit so she learns something intriguing about you, and ask another question.
Every conversation will be different, but this formula can be applied consistently.
This is frustrating, and frustratingly common. It’s also one of the reasons it’s good to get her number sooner rather than later, or some other contact details to move things off this popular dating app and onto a more personal platform where she’s less likely to ghost.
But until then, use the follow up message strategy from Stage 1 as needed. You can send a cute gif to reignite a stalled Tinder conversation, or some call back humor that references your preceding message.
Here is an actual Tinder conversation where this particular roadblock pops up, and examples of how to handle it like a pro…
Notice how the acknowledge/answer/ask formula is used in each message? Just follow those steps and you’ll be messaging like a pro in no time.
Stage 3: How To Ask Her Out On Tinder
There is no magical number of messages you need to exchange before asking for a date/phone number.
Instead, take your cues from how she’s responding, and that will let you know when the time is right:
If you’re not seeing any of those signs yet, keep following the messaging formula from Stage 2 until you’ve generated more attraction.
When the time feels right to ask her out online, there are two ways to go about it:
Whether you’re going for a date or the digits, frame your “ask” by putting her in the right mindset.
Here’s an example, from the conversation with Suzie above:
Most (if not all) women would agree with the highlighted statement, so she’s already thinking “yes.”
Once she’s agreed, it’s just a matter of working out the details:
Notice in both message examples above she’s given a choice? That’s no coincidence.
The Tinder experts at VIDA analyze data on just about everything, and we’ve found giving her an option doubles the acceptance rate.
By contrast, internal data shows only asking to grab drinks torpedos the acceptance rate by half.
You’ll also want to give her options for the day and time. Offering a few suggestions shows confidence, and it doesn’t leave her feeling like she’s got to now plan the date you just asked her out on.
Here are a few more tips for asking her out the right way on apps like Tinder: