5 Red Flags To Look For When Someone Slides Into Your DMs If You’re Looking For Real Love

DM sliding is super commonplace now, much in the same way dating apps have gone from taboo to totally normal and used by most people. But not every DM slide is the same. While some people might slide into your DMs because theyre interested in getting to know you and potentially seriously dating you, some are sent with the intention of hooking up. And both of those things are totally fine! But, if youre looking for the former (as in, you want a serious relationship), you have to know what youre getting yourself into.

Before you get too wrapped up in conversation, there are some signs to consider. Does their message convey respect and a genuine interest in you as a person? Does their profile indicate that theyre single, or do things seem a little shady? And if youre already talking, are they evasive about meeting up? These are all potential red flags that could show that the person pursuing you isnt actually interested in something serious. So, heres what you need to look out for.

“If there is something physical or sexual in the DM, this is an immediate red flag for women, and women…wont take it seriously,” Alessandra Conti, personal matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City told Elite Daily. Conti added that messages like this will likely go unanswered as soon as theyre read.

You dont need to full-on internet stalk everyone who slides into your DMs, but if someone does message you and you dont already know them that well, taking a quick look through their profile can definitely help you gauge whether or not you want to keep talking to this person — and perhaps most importantly, if theyre already dating someone.

If youre on Instagram, for example, take a look through their pictures. Are they always posting (or tagged in) photos with the same person? Are they recent, and do the captions seem to indicate that they might be dating? If so, thats something to take note of. Of course, its possible that theyre just a close friend, or potentially that theyre in an open relationship . In any case, if their profile gives you pause, itd be good to clarify things before you get too into the conversation.

Conti noted that, as a matchmaker, she tells clients to look at this sort of thing because it can give you insight into how many people theyre talking to aside from you. If youre a woman and a man DMs you, for example, you might look through his following list and comments to see if hes only following and interacting with other attractive women, and if hes flirting a lot. That could definitely be a red flag, Conti pointed out.

And again, its possible in a scenario like this that this person just happens to have a lot of attractive, close friends, but its something to be aware of. If what youre looking for really is a serious relationship, this could potentially indicate how seriously theyre willing to take things with you.

If MTVs Catfish has taught me anything over the years, its that if someone refuses to meet up with you, thats a red flag — even if they are who they say they are. If youve been talking to someone who slid into your DMs, but they keep making excuses as to why they cant meet up, one of two things could be going on. Either theyre hiding something from you (maybe theyre a catfish or maybe they are already in a monogamous relationship, for example), or, more likely, theyre just not taking your connection seriously.

The reality is, even if theyre busy, if they actually want to pursue a relationship with you, theyd have to make time for you — so if they wont, thats a huge red flag. Plus, as Conti pointed out, the longer you go without meeting up, the more likely your connection is to peter out.

Not to sound totally obvious, but if someone slides into your DMs and just wont leave you alone if you havent responded (especially if youve never responded), thats more than a red flag — its probably harassment. Whether you dont answer because youre busy or because you just arent feeling it, if someone keeps DMing you and asking for your attention, thats a big problem. Remember: You dont owe them a response just because they want one, especially if theyre a stranger on the internet.

In any case, DM sliding is one of those things that needs to be respectful if you want a shot at things actually working out. And if someone has a shady profile or sends you messages that make you uncomfortable? Theyre not worth your time. If they wont meet up with you despite everything seeming great otherwise? Theyre probably not taking things seriously, making them also not worth your time.

How to get a guy’s attention online | flirting on Instagram

5 Red Flags To Look For When Someone Slides Into Your DMs If You’re Looking For Real Love

In any case, DM sliding is one of those things that needs to be respectful if you want a shot at things actually working out. And if someone has a shady profile or sends you messages that make you uncomfortable? Theyre not worth your time. If they wont meet up with you despite everything seeming great otherwise? Theyre probably not taking things seriously, making them also not worth your time.

And again, its possible in a scenario like this that this person just happens to have a lot of attractive, close friends, but its something to be aware of. If what youre looking for really is a serious relationship, this could potentially indicate how seriously theyre willing to take things with you.

The reality is, even if theyre busy, if they actually want to pursue a relationship with you, theyd have to make time for you — so if they wont, thats a huge red flag. Plus, as Conti pointed out, the longer you go without meeting up, the more likely your connection is to peter out.

“If there is something physical or sexual in the DM, this is an immediate red flag for women, and women…wont take it seriously,” Alessandra Conti, personal matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City told Elite Daily. Conti added that messages like this will likely go unanswered as soon as theyre read.

DM sliding is super commonplace now, much in the same way dating apps have gone from taboo to totally normal and used by most people. But not every DM slide is the same. While some people might slide into your DMs because theyre interested in getting to know you and potentially seriously dating you, some are sent with the intention of hooking up. And both of those things are totally fine! But, if youre looking for the former (as in, you want a serious relationship), you have to know what youre getting yourself into.

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