33 Real and Unfortunate Signs Of A Toxic Mother-in-Law

10 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-in-Law, According to a Therapist (And How to Deal)
  • 10 Signs You’ve Got a Toxic Mother-in-Law on Your Hands. …
  • She Ignores Personal Boundaries. …
  • She Offers Unsolicited Advice. …
  • She Cancels Plans Last Minute or Shows Up Unannounced. …
  • She Buys Inappropriate Gifts for Your Spouse.

10 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-in-Law: How do Deal With Her!

6. She is critical of everything that you do

Do you feel judged and ridiculed every time your mother-in-law speaks? A toxic mother-in-law will make you feel like you are less of a person when you are not. Many times, toxic people think they know the best way to do everything and will judge anyone who disagrees with them. Be confident in your abilities, and know you can do it alone!

toxic mother in law signs

If your mother-in-law turns everything around to be negative, you may very well have a toxic mother-in-law. Often, when someone is negative about everything, they bring you down to their level. Make sure you and your partner understand how she really is, and don’t let her attitude rub you the wrong way.

If you let her negativity start to affect everything that you do, you will be brought down to her level every time she speaks. Instead, try to take a positive spin on her negative attitude. If you must, go ahead and contradict her. Forget about what she’s saying if she’s just complaining to hear herself speak; don’t allow it to hurt you at all.

If you can find a positive way to start to turn her negativity around, you might just rub off on her in a good way. In fact, she might learn a thing or two from you!

Have you found that your mother-in-law always searches for ways to humiliate you in front of your family? No family member should be treated like that! The next time she does something like that, you should stick up for yourself. You don’t need to be the victim of every family function; you are a human being who deserves respect!

Sarcasm is one thing that toxic mothers-in-law can’t resist. She may compliment you in a really rude manner, and you can tell she doesn’t mean what she says to you. The reason she probably does this is that she is jealous of you in some way. She may envy the time you get to spend with her son or wish she was young again.

A toxic mother-in-law doesn’t understand boundaries at all. She may come over unannounced and barge into your lives whenever she feels like it. The problem with this is that she isn’t respectful of you and your family. You and your husband probably have certain rules, and she is ignoring them. It may be time to talk to her about this!

Don’t you hate it when people make assumptions about who you are? Do you feel like your mother-in-law places the blame on you all the time? It’s not like she treats you like a victim necessarily, but in reality, you are a victim. I mean, why is she punishing you for being yourself? You may find that the reason is that she is jealous of you.

Maybe she wishes she could spend time with her son as she did when he lived at home. She might think you are an excellent mother and wishes that she was as smart as you are. There are a number of possible reasons that could be causing her to judge you unfairly, but the fact is that she is exhibiting toxic behavior, and it’s affecting you.

Has your mother-in-law set you up for failure? Does she ask you to do things that no one is able to do? Do you feel as though she is purposely messing with the relationship you have with your husband? The problem is that she wants to see you fail for whatever reason.

She is not being fair to you, nor is she giving you a chance to be the best wife and mother that you can be. Don’t let her shake your confidence, and you certainly should not allow her to come between you and your husband with impossible tasks. Stand up for yourself and only do what you want to do; don’t appease her ego.

As mentioned, she may be jealous of the relationship you have with her son. She may miss him and the relationship they once had with each other. While this is kind of sad, it doesn’t give her the right to treat you in a rotten way or mess with your marriage. Make sure, if you have a toxic mother-in-law, that you stand your ground and be yourself.

There is just about nothing worse than a drama queen. They always make everything out to be a serious affair. Perhaps you spilled a drink; it was an accident, not the end of the world. Everything is so important to a drama queen, and she’ll make a big deal over little things that don’t really matter all that much.

It’s a difficult personality type to be around and a very hard relationship to maintain. One thing you can do to manage the relationship with your toxic mother-in-law is to ignore the theatrical elements. Just pay attention to what is behind the message. What is truly bothering her? Figure that out, and only address what matters the most.

I hate gossip or a person who won’t tell you how they feel about you to your face. Why do they have to be deceptive? If they have an issue with you, why can’t they just say so to your face? I think a lot of people just enjoy the drama of talking about other people. If you catch your mother-in-law gossiping about you, just try to ignore the behavior.

toxic mother in law signs

Does your mother-in-law talk around you as if you aren’t even in the room? Does she talk to your husband about everything under the sun, ignoring the fact that you are standing right there next to him? This behavior is truly rude and uncalled for. You should tell her you are there and happy to discuss any issues she is having.

It is very difficult to be around someone who thinks that she knows more than you when she really doesn’t. Relationships like this are difficult to maintain because she will probably always talk down to you. You can try to earn her respect by being the best person that you can be, but that will not guarantee that she will like you.

You may find it useful to just talk to your mother-in-law about her behavior. Have a heart-to-heart conversation about how your relationship is going and how you hope it will go in the future. There may be hope for your mother-in-law if she is willing to talk things out with you.

Sometimes, people think they are smarter than they really are. Often, people like this believe that they can control the behavior of others. If you have been in relationships like this before, you know that your mother-in-law is acting out for whatever reason because she believes she can control the narrative of your life by the things she says.

If you catch your mother-in-law saying stuff in an effort to control your actions, just ignore the behavior. Talk to your husband about his mother’s actions and words and how they have affected you and your marriage. Don’t allow her to get in between you two. Just because she thinks she can control you doesn’t mean she can. Stand your ground.

It’s hard to be around someone who won’t allow the past to remain in the past. So, you made a mistake once upon a time. That doesn’t mean that your actions today should be discounted. You should let her know, respectfully, that you would like to put the past behind you and only talk about things as they relate to the future.

Unfortunately, if your mother-in-law is manipulative and controlling, there’s a good chance that she is making you doubt your abilities as a mother and wife. Make sure you don’t allow her to control how you feel about yourself. You can control the narrative of your life; just allow yourself not to be manipulated by her.

I know of some women who have reported having relationships with their mothers-in-law, where she actually tried to set their husbands up with old girlfriends or ex-wives. I think that is crossing a line! If you have similar stories about your mother-in-law, you should talk to your husband. Explain that her behavior is inappropriate and must stop now.

A controlling mother-in-law believes that she can dictate your family’s actions. If you believe your mother-in-law is like this, you should talk to your spouse. Discuss what the two of you can do together as a team about her behavior, and work toward finding an amicable solution.

I can relate to this one very much. My mother-in-law tends to be on the sensitive side, so I must be very careful what I say around her. One time I mentioned how much she seemed to love red since she wore the color a lot, and she got deeply offended. A few years ago, she let me know how rude I was for saying that a decade ago!

If your mother-in-law actually calls you names or says you are inferior to your face, you should stand up for yourself and discuss this with your husband. If you allow her to continue to do this, you may find yourself becoming very insecure because of what she’s said to you. Explain to your husband how her insults are hurting your feelings.

25. She tries to turn her son against you

If you have talked to your husband about the problems with his mother and he doesn’t take your side, she may be turning him against you. This could really hurt your marriage if you aren’t careful. Be upfront with your spouse about what’s going on, and request that the two of you attend couples counseling over the issue.

toxic mother in law signs

Even when she’s wrong, a toxic mother-in-law will always insist that she is correct. She will defend herself forever, even if she’s dead wrong. A person who cannot accept their faults has many. Just remember that the next time your mother-in-law insists she is right about something that she clearly is wrong about.

There is really no excuse for your mother-in-law to be rude to you. If her behavior is causing you emotional distress, you may want to talk to a trained professional about it. A qualified therapist can give you the right tools and tips to handle a toxic mother-in-law. Also, you should discuss it with your spouse. He should know what’s happening.

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