27 subtle signs he is jealous but is hiding it

These are some surefire signs that your partner is jealous and hiding it:
  • He is asking more questions than usual. …
  • He doesn’t take your answers at face value. …
  • He is constantly checking up on you. …
  • He is getting very clingy. …
  • He consults your friends and family. …
  • He blows things out of proportion. …
  • He starts being very reactive.

Signs a guy is jealous | Signs he is jealous but hiding it | Subtle signs of jealousy in a man

1) He’s pleased when things don’t work out with other guys

If you’re wondering whether your friend has a crush on you, him seeming pretty pleased when your love life’s in shambles is a strong sign he does.

Of course, he’s unlikely to be dumb enough to grin like a Cheshire cat when you tell him about your troubles. But if his sympathy seems a little over the top or forced, then chances are he could be secretly happy about it.

He may offer you a shoulder to cry on or become far more attentive than usual. Sure, he could just be trying to be a good friend — but then again, he may also have ulterior motives.

Because he wants you for himself, he’ll be jealous of other men who are on the scene and so will be fairly pleased when one disappears.

Does your guy put two and two together and come up with five?

When we’re jealous we tend to act a little paranoid. Seemingly innocent interactions may feel suspicious to him.

He’s reading into everything you say and do and drawing his own wildly wrong conclusions from it.

Because in his mind everything is a perceived “threat” to him, that may mean he also overreacts about very unimportant or trivial things.

If he’s jealous, it’s likely because he feels a natural desire to protect you. He may see other guys as a threat to you, him, and your relationship (if you’re already in one).

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

4) He’s annoyed if you don’t message back straight away

Getting moody if you don’t message him back straight away is one of those clear signs a guy is jealous through texting.

A lot of our daily lives play out over message these days — whether that’s text, social media, or email. So his messaging habits give plenty of clues as to how a guy is feeling towards you.

If he’s chilled out and relaxed, he will understand that you can’t always reply instantly. If he’s feeling insecure, he may be more clingy.

That means if you don’t reply within a timeframe that he finds acceptable, he could be angry or annoyed with you.

If he’s jealous, you might also notice he sends you countless messages throughout the day asking what you’re up to and checking up on you.

When we feel trusting towards someone, we usually accept what they tell us and take it at face value.

He may not explicitly say that he thinks you’re lying, but he could subtly imply it by the way he behaves.

When he asks if any guys hit on you on your girls night out, rather than dropping it as soon as you tell him no, he may ask follow-up questions that seem to suggest you’re holding something back.

Whether he does it in a playful way or not, he’s questioning what you tell him rather than accepting it.

It can feel very frustrating for you, as though you constantly have to justify yourself. His jealousy may feel as though he is questioning your integrity or truthfulness.

There’s taking an interest in someone and their life, and then there’s taking a bit too much of an interest.

Incessant questions that dig around into your personal life are a sign of jealousy. He may ask so many questions that you feel more like you’re being interviewed rather than having a conversation.

He may start fishing for information by asking about other men in your life, or nights out you’ve had recently.

If you’re not together, he could ask way too many “causal” questions about your love life. If you are in a relationship, suddenly he wants to know the tiniest details about your day.

His behavior suggests that he is playing detective and trying to work out if there are other guys on the scene.

Whether you’re out with a friend having lunch, on a night out without him, or even at work knee-deep in spreadsheets — he’s always checking in when you’re not together.

Having an attentive partner can be cute, to a point. But excessively checking in on you actually becomes checking up on you.

Rather than a sign of affection, it becomes a sign of mistrust. He wants to know exactly what you are up to when he isn’t there.

His mind may be playing out worst-case scenarios which make him feel the need to check up on you.

If he always wants to know where you are and who you are with, it’s a subtle form of control that suggests he is feeling jealous.

While this article explores the main signs he is jealous but is hiding it, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like dealing with jealousy. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

When we feel vulnerable, we all react in different ways. Whilst some of us get angry others will fall on the other side of the spectrum and act clingy.

According to couples therapist Julie Nowland, neediness is a range of behaviors that centers around the belief: “I am unable to see my worth, and I need you to make me feel better about myself and my world.”

The fear of losing you causes him to be over the top in trying to keep you close.

He may make excuses to see you and to stop by or perhaps he starts blowing up your phone all day long. Perhaps he wants to hang out all the time and doesn’t give you your space.

These are signs he might be jealous and wants to have you near.

If he’s trying to play it cool and doesn’t want to ask you direct questions that might give away his jealousy, he may resort to asking other people instead.

Perhaps he casually asks your friend what is happening between you and a certain guy, or some other question to find out more about you.

It’s a way of checking up on you without alerting your suspicions. If you’re not in a couple and you’re wondering if he is into you, then asking other people about you is one of those signs a guy is jealous and likes you.

Even if he asks in a relaxed and easy-going way, making any kind of inquiries about your love life, or what you’ve been getting up to when he isn’t around, is a clear sign of his interest in you.

To save face, if a guy is jealous but too proud to want to show it, he may try to over-correct what he is feeling and act aloof.

But pretending not to be bothered, especially when it’s not particularly convincing, is a clear sign of the opposite.

He may say he doesn’t care or try to shrug it off, but his discomfort and irritation shines through in his body language.

When we’re truly relaxed we act our normal selves. If he is only pretending that everything is fine when really he’s jealous his words and his behavior may not match up.

For example, he closes off his body language or acts uncomfortable and shifty.

Passive-aggressive behavior is defined by the NYU Medical Center as someone who “may appear to comply or act appropriately, but actually behaves negatively and passively resists.”

That’s why being passive-aggressive can be one of those subtle ways that jealousy is expressed.

If a guy is being passive-aggressive towards you he may:

  • Be unreasonable about things
  • Feel uncomfortable to be around
  • Avoid expressing his hostility directly
  • Repeat this type of behavior on many occasions
  • Often when a guy is passively-aggressively reacting to jealousy he will want to disguise it somehow. So he may make snide remarks or cutting “jokes”.

    It can show up through things like negative gossip, sarcasm, or trying to find other reasons to justify being annoyed at you so he can project his anger.

    In this way, even if he is pretending he’s not bothered, he’s still trying to find other ways to punish you, or to sulk.

    We’ve all been guilty of a little bit of social media stalking at some time or another.

    These platforms can be a breeding ground for paranoia. According to PsychAlive:

    We recognize that technology can be a place for hiding things. We may also spot things online that make us jealous or give us cause for some concern.

    If he’s watching you like a hawk on social media or even worse, wants to check your phone then it’s a definite sign of his jealousy and mistrust.

    Statistically speaking as half the world’s population are male, you’re going to encounter plenty of men everywhere you go.

    If he gives off signs that he doesn’t like it, then the reason is most likely his jealousy.

    Perhaps if you are out together he keeps an eye on you whenever you are in the company of other men. Maybe he’s uneasy about you having guy friends. He could be asking a lot of questions about a new male co-worker. You might even notice that he turns icy as soon as you even mention another guy.

    If he seems annoyed when men approach you, or gets uncomfortable with you being alone with other dudes, jealousy will most likely be the root cause.

    What does it mean when a guy gets jealous when you talk to another guy? It ultimately means he feels threatened.

    He is worried about losing you to someone else and so feels safer when other men are kept at bay.

    15) He’s moody or angry with you for no apparent reason

    Unexplained mood changes can be a classic sign of jealousy. If he struggles to keep his emotions in check, he might not like it if he feels like you are paying other men any attention.

    It could be something in particular that triggers a shift in his mood, or he might just be generally snapper at you as his hostility pours out of him in uncontrolled ways.

    You might notice that his bad moods seem to start when you do something he doesn’t like.

    You might arrange a night out without him which triggers him to give you the silent treatment for the rest of the evening. Or perhaps you mention that you had lunch with a male co-worker and he starts snapping at you or making digs.

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