Online Dating Tips for Women Over 40 | Engaged at Any Age
Tinder bio: Good examples for females
Tinder has 57 million active users as of 2021. A 2019 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that men spend an average of 5.7 seconds before swiping right on the profiles they find attractive, and women spend only 3.19 seconds.
So how can you make a positive first impression in such a short amount of time?
“The key to a good profile is positivity and specificity. You want to paint a picture of who you uniquely are,” says Emyli Volz, co-founder of emlovz, a coaching and matchmaking service.
“Don’t try and appeal to the masses,” she says. “You’re only looking for one person to spend forever with. The more specific and polarizing your profile is, the better you’ll be able to get the dating app algorithms to work for you in pairing you with a deeply compatible match.”
Volz offered some examples of successful female bios she’s worked on:
Listen – I know I’m just a poor man’s Zooey Deschanel and I can’t even promise you love or sex or even affection, but I can guarantee:
I’m friendly, funny, nice & happy. I prioritize exercise daily & am committed to self growth/development. I enjoy spending time with family/friends, adventures, traveling, playing games, eating, etc. Ready to date seriously and find my person making sober sexy – don’t let it scare you away
What not to do: Volz says it’s important not to point out what you don’t want and to avoid speaking negatively in your Tinder bio.
Alyssa Dinnen, author of The Art of Online Dating and founder of the Style My Profile coaching service, stresses the importance of using every photo slot available on your profile and choosing quality photos.
“The more people can see of you, the better,” Dinnen says. “So if you don’t have at least five or six photos, grab a friend to take more photos.”
She says photos that most often make people swipe right are clear and show a person from the waist or shoulders up, smiling and without sunglasses on. Photos that make people swipe left are often grainy or blurry, obviously old, have someone crossed out of the photo or include a large group of people.
Dinnen occasionally posts sample dating profiles to her 30K+ followers on Instagram. She created this dating profile example for women to learn the dos and donts of writing a bio:
Original: Im a mom and ophthalmologist, and in my spare time I like going to museums and coffee shops. Im creative and motivated. Lets connect!
Upgrade: I am a sensitive person who likes to take care of others. But not to the point of being a doormat! I volunteer at the Museum of Modern Art whenever possible because Im a frustrated artist who became an ophthalmologist. I still love to see art and paint with my daughter whenever possible. Also, I love to spend time off walking through new cities: street art and checking out hole in the wall coffee shops are my thing.
Here are some examples of other female Tinder profiles that commenters on the Everything about Tinder subreddit deemed positive:
Lets think about this, we meet up and have a great time, we date for a year then get married, have 2 kids then 5 years down the road we start fighting, both turn to alcohol, get a divorce and the kids are unhappy. OR we meet up and have a good time, hook up, you pull out and I do the walk of shame and never see you again.
Oh, and I need a date to my sisters wedding
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Midwest lady working in Orlando. I probably swiped right if I saw motocross, animals, or cool beards.
The quickest way to my heart is through my rib cage.
Not on here for hookups. Even though my picture is baiting you with massive exposed cleavage.
Only on here for friends because thats why they invented dating apps. ♀️
I have a son and if he doesnt like your dog (who I probably swiped for) then swipe
If I dont respond its because Im not usually on here. Why do I have this app again?
Will NOT respond to “hey” or “hi” or any other normal way to start a conversation
Want to see how your profile stacks up? Check out this Reddit thread that provides a checklist for a good Tinder profile, and read more about how to choose photos for a dating profile:
Bumble bio: Good examples for females
With 12 million active users, Bumble was started by one of Tinders founders who wanted to make a more women-friendly app in which female users are the only ones who can initiate a connection. Bumbles reputation is that its users tend to be looking for a more serious commitment.
Isa Sesay, 33, of Washington, D.C., was frustrated with the pool of men she was dating when she created her first online dating profile in January 2021. Previously, Sesay had been focused primarily on her education so didnt have a lot of experience dating in general.
Sesay decided to enlist the help of dating and relationship coach Joyice Robinson to take her profiles to the next level. Robinson is the creator of Match Marry Mate, a coaching service that helps Black women successfully navigate relationships.
“My work focuses on helping Black women tap into their feminine wisdom, set standards and boundaries, negotiate needs, and master communication with men,” Robinson says.
Using a questionnaire of thought-provoking and lighthearted questions, plus a 2-hour “brain dump,” Robinson helped Sesay craft profiles on dating apps like Bumble, Hinge and OKCupid. Within hours, she had dozens of matches.
“She was able to pull out the best parts of my personality while still giving a well-rounded view of who I am as a woman,” Sesay says.
Sesay has had the most positive response on Bumble and likes its “ladies first” approach to dating. Check out her profile here:
A free-spirited vibration creating life as an authentic woman with balanced principles. I value connection and community. Conversation and reflection support my evolution yet reminds me of “my tribe.” Looking for an accountable man who is ambitious, generous, and values thoughtfulness with care.
The fusion of history, culture, and cuisine electrifies my mind and soul. Do you know how mofongo and fufu are connected?
Car concerts and dance breaks — they are my jam! When the beat drops my body freely moves for joy and release.
“Most men that match with me on Bumble are men I would likely talk to in real life — educated, business-minded, community-focused and visually well put together. I never see a match that I dont match with first, so naturally, I see men that I am attracted to with shared interests in my DMs, and that makes me happy.”
[Bumble also has a friendship feature —one of the best friendship apps.]
Robinson says Sesay’s profile is successful because it includes what she likes to call the four Vs:
“Dating profiles should be attractive and inviting. Being vulnerable and declaring your personal values invites prospects to desire to know you more as a person,” Robinson says. “Creating vision and visualization attracts prospects to be more curious about who you are as a woman. The secret sauce is a womans ability ‘to be and to create.”
Another one of Robinsons clients says shes noticed a big change in the quality of matches since she revamped her profile.
“In my profile, my hint at a basketball or baseball game as a great date is the best conversation starter,” she says. “Men are reading my profile, and Im attracting the NICEST men! They are thoughtful, very interested in me and inquire about my likes and hobbies. And the best part is that they take me out on fun dates where I can be my authentic self and have a wonderful time.”
Check out her profile:
My roots are in the best beaches of the most beautiful West African country; the sound of ocean waves mixed with afrobeats is my happy place. Bonus if you guess the right country . Looking for a kind and ambitious dance partner who is up for a dope time at a Silk Sonic concert.
Going to live sporting events. I love the energy I feel at a Wizards or Nats game. Even better when Im with a fun date.
I turn heads in skirts and shorts, I know how to laugh at myself; dancing is my super power, and I value fun, freedom, and community.
If you want to see a guy’s perspective on what makes a good Bumble profile — as well as dating red flags — read through this Reddit thread:
Interested in checking out other dating sites and apps? Here are some dating app reviews:
Also, check out our roundup of best dating apps and sites for single parents, as well as 11 hookup sites if that is your jam.
What to write about yourself on a dating site profile
Gah! This can be so overwhelming. Worse than a resume or LinkedIn profile. Here’s what our experts say about dating profile decorum:
“Keep it short,” says Sandra Schwartz, founder of HerNorm.com, which helps women understand men. “If you put everything about you on your profile, there might not be anything interesting left to say when you decide to talk to each other personally. Just highlight the important things.”
Also, make sure to let them know what you are looking for, says certified sex educator Suzannah Weiss. “You want a line about what you’re looking for so that you can weed out people who aren’t looking for the same thing,” Weiss says. “It doesn’t have to be as direct as looking for a relationship, though it can be. But try painting a picture of the kind of relationship you want — for example, looking for someone who will go hiking with me then snuggle under the covers afterward or looking for someone to co-parent a cat with. You can also make it easy for people to ask you out by suggesting a date activity in your bio.”
Worried about being catfished — or worse? How to catch a cheat and tips for safe online dating.