But then his attentiveness turns to overwhelming obsession. Another sign of an insecure man is that he gets annoyed when you spend time away from him. He frequently texts or calls to check on you and he cannot stand the fact that you can have a good time outside your relationship.
10 Signs You Are Dealing With An Insecure Man
7 signs you’re dating an insecure man:
If you’re still in the relatively early days of dating a guy, these are the initial warning signs you might notice that he is quite insecure.
This doesn’t sound so bad right? But a few thoughtful presents are very different to someone trying to buy your affection.
For insecure men, spending a lot of money can be a way of buying your love. When this happens in the extreme, you might start to feel indebted to them because of it and be made to feel guilty for any time you want to spend apart.
This isn’t a healthy start to a relationship. If they’re going over the top with gifts, show them you don’t need to spend a lot to have a good time together. They just need reassurance that it’s them you care about, not their bank balance.
As flattering as it is when a man declares his love for you early on, beware of moving too fast.
He might be so insecure about losing you that he’s rushing into becoming too serious too soon in an effort to make you commit.
If he’s talking about your future together and telling you he’s in love, think about whether you even know each other well enough for this to be true.
There is nothing wrong with telling him you want to take things slow. Reassure him you’re interested but take things at your own pace. If it’s right, you’ve got forever, so what’s the rush?
If a guy you’re dating is making you feel guilty for spending time away from them, or questions your closeness with family or friends, it’s usually because they’re insecure themselves.
He sees other people as competition for your time and attention and will worry you prefer their company to his.
If things between you are going to work, you’re going to need the support and acceptance from friends and family. Pulling away from them for the sake of a man is never going to work in the long run, so find a way to bring them together and show him there’s no need to worry.
Your social media should not be a tool for the man you’re dating to check up on you.
If he’s commenting on people in your posts or has an obsessive interest in them, he’s most likely insecure you’re having a better time without him and will meet someone else.
His insecurity might even come out as anger toward you for not posting more about the two of you, showing the world that you’re an item.
Hiding things from your social media or editing posts to make him happy isn’t a solution. This will continue to be an issue if you don’t address it, so find a way to deal with his insecurities together while maintaining your independence.
He starts an argument with you every time you go for a night out on the town with your friends, convinced you’re out to meet other men.
This is a tactical approach, making you miserable and guilty for the time you spend away so that you eventually stop even trying to go out without him.
It’s manipulative behavior and comes from a need for control because he’s feeling insecure. He might tell you it’s because he loves you and misses you, but wearing someone down through arguments to make them bend to your will is not love.
6. He wants to spend all of your time together.
When you’re dating someone new, it feels like you could spend every moment together. It’s fun and exciting at first until he starts making you feel guilty about time apart.
He’ll start getting annoyed at you for not messaging him back when you’re out, or question why you’d want to spend a weekend away from him. These are signs of his insecurities, not your failings.
Time apart to concentrate on your own social life and interests is healthy for the both of you.
Making each other your only source of happiness puts too much pressure on your relationship. If he’s being clingy, try to find a way to readdress the balance before your relationship crumbles under the strain.
An insecure man will find it hard to accept any ex of yours, in the fear that they were somehow better than him.
Him taking an abnormal interest in your past relationships or stalking through old pictures of you and your ex are red flags you shouldn’t ignore.
There is no place for a past relationship in a present one. If the man you’re dating is behaving this way, remind him to focus on what you have right now rather than worrying about the past.
5 tips to help you date an insecure man:
If you see more than a few of the above signs and realize that you’re dating an insecure man, here are some things you can do to make things go more smoothly.
If a man is already insecure, don’t give him reasons to worry.
Share your plans with him so he doesn’t feel like you’re keeping secrets. Try sending him pictures from your night out so he can feel a part of it and see that you’re thinking about him. If you say you’ll text him when you get home, make sure you do.
Keep showing him his insecurities are unfounded and you’ll begin to build that foundation of trust, essential to a happy relationship.
If he’s jealous of the time you’re spending with friends, especially male friends, the easiest thing to do is introduce him to them.
If he’s insecure, he’ll be imagining the worst and thinking your friendships are more than they are. Introducing him to your friends will allow him get to know them and see for himself that there’s nothing to worry about.
If he’s putting you on a pedestal, help him to build his own confidence up and reassure him.
Be vocal about all the things you like about him. The more you say nice things about him, the easy he’ll find them to believe.
Dating an insecure man often means you’re dealing with the consequences of his past.
It’s unfortunate that you have to suffer the backlash for something that happened to him to break his trust in people, but you can be the one to help him change for the better (though he has to be the one to drive this and it’s not your responsibility if you can’t make it work).
Try to have some open and supportive conversations to find out more about him and when these insecurities started.
With a better understanding of what drives his reactions to things you do, you’ll be able to find solutions to stop them being an issue.
It’s difficult not to react when you feel you’re being treated unfairly, especially when you’re suffering because of a man’s insecurities. But the worst thing to do is to let it turn into an argument.
You don’t fight fire with fire, and when you’re dating someone, you need to show them that they can count on you to be there for them through good and bad.
You won’t develop a sense trust if you both react defensively, so try to show him that you are there to listen, work things through, and reassure him that there is no reason to worry.
It will take some serious willpower, but having patience with him and showing him you’re willing to work together will create a stronger relationship going forward.